Personals
by Grendle1853
Summary: Justice League and online dating. Let the hilarity ensue!
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! This chapter one of a little round robin we did in the forum on . The names in bold before the bits are the names of the authors who did said part. Got all that? Good, enjoy!**

**Grendle1853**

(From the Watchtower's "Hero Hookup Dating Service" invented by Mr. Terrific)

Profile Name: Batman  
Age: 42  
Height: 6' 1''  
Gender: Batman  
Sexuality: Hetero  
Weight: 280lbs  
Hair: Dark  
Race: Batman

I am writing this up so that Superman and J'onn will shut up. I am single, I own my own buisness, and I am a single father of five. I can not cook, I don't have a lot of free time, I am not a good conversationalist, and I am not easy to get along with. Respond at your own risk.

I've been told that I am required to write more positive things under my profile (by various individuals who shall not be named) so here goes. I am very athletic and enjoy many aspects of several different martial art disciplines, I also enjoy several different types of sports such as Basket Ball and Rugby. I am well read and in particular enjoy the works of Shakespeare, Homer, Tolkien, H.P. Lovecraft, and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. As far as music goes I enjoy classical (particularly Beethoven), Opera, Blues, Jazz, and some Rock. I have little to no interest in television, but I do watch the Daily Planet News station and I've caught a good episode of a show called "River Monsters" and I enjoyed it.  
Some of my hobbies outside of fighting crime (which I should be doing instead of typing this up) are building armored tactical vehicles, exercising, keeping up with new scientific advances, and...spending time with my children.

What I am looking for in a romantic partner:

This has taken me a bit of thought to come up with, because its not like I have a lot free time to devote to a relationship. I'd say that I would like someone who is intelligent, I'm not a patient man and I don't have the time to deal with a fool. I would like to meet someone who is composed, I like to keep things in order and it would be helpful if my partner kept themselves together well in bad situations. I believe I prefer brunets, though thats not all that important and hair color isn't going to make or break a situation. I would want to meet someone who is physically fit, I enjoy many physical activities (shut up Flash) and it would be nice to meet a woman who can keep up with me. I guess I prefer tall women, being a tall man it just makes a few things a bit easier. Any woman I get involve with would have to know discretion, there are a lot of secrets in my life and if I'm going to have a serious relationship with someone it would have to be able to keep them. Possibly the most important thing though is that I would need a woman who thinks about others before herself, given the very nature of who I am I can not stand selfishness, my personal history is littered with women like that and I believe that is the main reason those relationships fell apart.

*Edit by the Flash* Bats also prefers his women to be big boobed kinky! A kind of girl who has a hard time staying up straight and is into getting tied up! YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME BATMAN!

Number of Justice League members interested: unknown (48 hour wait period before responses show up)

**Lordfrieza**

(From the Watchtower's "Hero Hookup Dating Service" invented by Mr. Terrific)

Profile Name: Booster Gold aka greatest Super hero to ever live  
Age: 31  
Height: 6' 2''  
Gender: All man  
Sexuality: Hetero  
Weight: 215 lbs  
Hair: blond  
Race: I really don't care what race she is... Wait you mean me? Oh, well lets just say that I'm a blond haired, blue eyed American.

I really don't need to write this. I mean I walk out in the streets and the girls come flocking to me. And then I have to explain that I'm not the Green Lantern, yeah right, and soon afterward they go even crazier. I'm single, have one sister who I care very deeply for. I can cook, but to be honest it's a little harder to do without an automatic kitchen, but then that's what Skeets is around for.

Some positive atributes? Well I'm fit, I was the star football player for the Gotham Knight's football team in the 25th century. I love playing Football now, just not professionally, jogging, Tae Bo (it's a serious discipline in the 25th century!), Playing some video games, and watching movies. I tend to be in the right place at the right time, and I have to admit that I'm pretty damned good looking. I enjoy spending time with my sis, and honestly anyone that hooks up with me is going to have to accept that she's a big part of my life. I am the CEO of my own business, and baby business is gooooooooooooooooood.

What I'm looking for in a romantic partner:

I like smart girls. I'm not kidding I really like smart, sexy, glasses wearing, scientist looking girls who are into doing a little biology practice ;). I don't mind if a girl is brunette, red head, blond, or if she has some really weird color like green, purple, or blue. I don't mind chicks with white hair, but I don't like a lot of extra baggage... like that chick still being hung up on an ex green lantern. I also want to say that I'm man enough to admit that I could handle two girls. We're all adults here, and lets face it we're putting our lives on the line each time we step out, so getting with one or two people at a time is my way of saying I understand. Ummmm... That said... I'm not really in the whole cross dimension thing, because it's hard as hell to keep up any kind of relationship when there's no clear way of seeing each other except for having Access teleport one of us across to the other. Not saying that the girl's from that other dimension aren't cute, because yeah, but really I don't think that I would want to wait a few months to prove what kind of awesome package I am.

I guess that's really it, so ladies, look, see, and pick a clear winner, pick Booster Gold!

**Theamerican**

(From the Watchtower's "Hero Hookup Dating Service" invented by Mr. Terrific)

Profile Name: Lobo aka The Main Man  
Age: I don't die babe!  
Height: 6' 3'', 6' 6" if ya count the hair!  
Gender: Main Man  
Sexuality: Yes I am  
Weight: 500 lbs of pure awesome  
Hair: sepulcher black  
Race: Czarnian and last one baby! Ya won't find anyone else like me! (I fragged my planet for a project; gave myself an A plus).  
Profession: Best Bounty Hunter in the fraggin' cosmos! Also the Justice Dweebs recruited me to replace Supes at one point. Had to decline though. It was too easy.

I don't even know why ya readin' this, cuz I'm sure ya all heard of me, and if ya haven't, well I'm gonna frag your ass to Neptune ya Geek! But just to remind ya how awesome the Main Man is, I'll try to say a few things.

I'm the best there is! I can capture anything and bring it in, for a price of course! I'm also a man of my word. When I say I'll do something, I'll do it!

Things Lobo likes:

The Main Man loves some good ol' fashion fun! Ya know, gettin' into fights, killin', shootin' then killin', killin' then shootin', disembowlin' the usual. I also enjoy ridin' on my beloved Space Bike the Hog. Ladies, if ya play ya cards right, ya might win a trip to see the stars with me on the Hog! Keep that in mind.

But don't get me wrong! I got a sensitive side as well! I love space dolphins! Ya know, the cute little creatures that are endangered? I once hung a geek by his thumbs for wearin' space dolphin boots! I have no shame in admitting that I brake for space dolphins. I gotta tatoo of it that I can show ya when we're done here! I like sticking up for the little guy! That's what I'm all about.

Things Lobo doesn't like: Gas, mosquitos, space dolphin killers.

More about Lobo: I have been told by some alien that collected species that he woulda like to put me on display because of my cute smile! Had to decline of course though. Ladies have often confused me with Superman when we're in bed, which I don't mind. I figure it'd help Supes reputation if ya get what I'm sayin'. I have been called a sociopath by alotta people which I take great pride in.

What I'm looking for in a romantic partner:

I like a dame that likes to play it rough. I don't care how rough, the sky's the limit babe. I can take it. As long as there is no gas involve, I'm down for anything! And ladies, I don't care if ya single or not. The Main Man does not judge. As long as ya got the looks babe, that's all we need to get it off!

**Kallisto**

(From the Watchtower's "Hero Hookup Dating Service" invented by Mr. Terrific)

Profile name: Hawkgirl  
Age: Yeah right  
Height: 5'8" with a 10 ft wingspan  
Gender: I'm not a girl, I'm a woman  
Sexuality: Non-existent at the moment  
Weight: 130lbs (I swear the wings add 10 lbs)  
Hair: Fiery redhead  
Race: Badass Thanagarian

Let's cut the crap and get straight down to business. I've never participated in something like this before, and it's not as if I really need to. I mean, it's not like I'm posting this out of some desire to make a certain Green Lantern jealous, wanting him to see it and realize his current relationship is going absolutely nowhere, then come begging me to take him back while professing his undying love. No, I'm above playing petty games like that. I'm doing this solely for myself, because I genuinely want to find that special someone and move on with my life. Yeah, that's right - **Move On With My Life**. As in not be available anymore because I will be with someone else. Think about it.

This stupid form won't let me post a picture, it says I have to include some personal information describing my positive attributes instead. Waste of damn time if you ask me, a picture is worth a thousand words after all, and if he saw the one of me in that bikini from the girl's trip to Cabo he'd…uh, never mind. Right, positive stuff. I love to watch the sunrise every morning. I thoroughly enjoy beating Batman at chess. To unwind I like to participate in bar brawls, street fights, really fighting of any kind - bring it on. I like to accessorize with an Nth metal mace. Some people say I have a temper, and I say, please, compared to most of the people running around this place, I'm virtually a pacifist. Events get blown way out of proportion around here, it's not like I'm the kind of person to just rush headlong into a situation, brandishing my mace, looking for action. Though I can't deny the thrill of battle and adrenaline rush is like a high for me. I enjoy watching UFC fights and the Kill Bill films. I'm big on working out, lifting weights, kickboxing, sparring. Zatanna tried to get me into yoga, but I kept falling asleep (it was boring as hell). I've recently discovered rugby, now there's a sport! I'm actually trying to start a rugby league for superheroes. We could definitely use a healthy outlet for our aggression, pummeling bad guys only goes so far, and Batman's getting angry about the destruction of the robots in the training room. I don't get him, it's not like it's my fault he buys the cheap stuff that can't hold up against a real hit :roll:

What I'm looking for in a romantic partner:

I'm not picky, and looks don't really matter to me. I would like someone who shares similar interests and passions, can handle my busy lifestyle, and isn't needy or controlling. Someone who can hang with me and just be cool. No drama, I've had enough of that in my life lately. And no creepy stalkers claiming to be my reincarnated lover from ancient times. What a line, he's lucky I didn't decide to knock some sense into him. I guess that's about it, though I should stress that I am definitely moving on with my life. So if a certain someone is interested, that ship hasn't sailed yet, but it's starting to leave the dock. I'm not just gonna wait around forever, if you want me you had better come and get me. This is your last chance. I'll be in the training room for the rest of the afternoon, finishing off the robots.

Note: If anyone is interested in joining the Justice Rugby League, sign-up forms have been posted in the cafeteria.

**Grendle1853**

(From the Watchtower's "Hero Hookup Dating Service" invented by Mr. Terrific)  
**  
**Profile Name: Doctor "Lady" Light (I'm the hero, not the rapist)  
Age: Mid Thirties  
Height: 5'9''  
Gender: Female  
Sexuality: Hetero  
Weight: Not important  
Hair: Black  
Race: Japanese**  
**  
When not working as a hero I am a scientist, an astronomer to be exact, and a single mother of two. I am bilingual and am capable of speaking and reading both Japanese and English fluently, though I will admit that I have been known to mispronounce my L's in times of stress. While I do not have a vast amount of free time (hero and mother after all) I would like to find someone to spend my nights with. I enjoy reading (especially science fiction novels and manga), classical and electronic music, retro video games, and puzzles of all kinds. While I wouldn't call myself a martial artist I am more than capable of defending myself, and I keep myself physically active with hero work, motherhood, and yoga.

What I am looking for in a romantic partner:

While my family is the most important thing in my life, and my work comes in at two after that, I believe I deserve a man as well. Maybe not something serious at first, the time restraints being a problem, but casual and exclusive with the possibility for something more is what I want. I would like a man who is intelligent, knowledgeable (not always the same thing), good with children, economically self sufficient, and patient. I am attracted to men that are tall, in good shape (muscles on men are just a very good thing), have strong jaws, and good teeth. I am also looking for men with a bit of experience, so more men in my age group or above than below. Also large hands are a good thing.

*Something I think I probably should note, though I don't intend to turn anyone down out of hand, the reason I decided to set up this profile is because Batman has set up one. ;)

Number of League Members interested: 8

**Lordfrieza**

(From the Watchtower's "Hero Hookup Dating Service" invented by Mr. Terrific)

Profile Name: Queen Maxima of the Almeraican Empire  
Age: mid Twenties  
Height: 6'2''  
Gender: Female  
Sexuality: Hetero  
Weight: I will not speak of such things with a machine  
Hair: Red  
Race: Superior to human beings

I am Queen Maxima of the Almeraican Empire and besides performing my royal duties to my people I also aid the Justice League. I find the work rewarding in a way, although I honestly do not know why humans find themselves in trouble so often. The Almeraican people are proud, strong, and resilient! Why a handful of the peasants from my world could easily overthrow many of these so called super-villains we face on a daily bases. I also do not know why we can't simply execute them on the spot and be done with it. From what the peasant here is telling me I need to speak of my redeeming qualities. Besides being a queen I am quite beautiful. It is my belief that I can have nearly any man I want. I believe myself to be quite intelligent, and if any potential mate wants to keep his genitals in tact he will believe so as well. I found that I have a love for watching professional wrestling. Something about seeing two fit, muscular, and beautiful men fighting inside of a ring is very... arousing.

My likes...

I enjoy poetry, mainly heroic epics, being catered to, told that I'm loved, being held while watching the sun set, sun bathing on a private beach, and watching people. I do enjoy reading, and since arriving to Earth I have to admit that I agree with Machiavelli's The Prince in how a ruler should act, but I have found that I enjoy reading and watching Shakespeare quite a bit more. My favorite play has been Taming the Shrew, although for the life of me I can not understand why the woman simply doesn't take something, beat the man over the head, and have her way with him. It would make quite a bit more sense.

My Dislikes

I hate being told no! I do not like rejection, and I don't like being the second woman. I am the first and only woman in any relationship. Also I dislike the idea of being second period. While I believe that any mate I acquire will be considered an equal I will not ever be under him in status. Perhaps under him in bed, but not in status. I don't like losing. Anything one does is only worthwhile if it is able to be won.

What I am seeking.

I want a man. I want a man who can keep up with me, who is genetically similar enough to give me children, and who is intelligent enough not to be a bore. I am not here for small talk, I am not here for anything other than finding a potential mate. If you want to go through your Earth customs then you have contacted the wrong woman. If you are ready to help create the heir to my throne then come see me.

**Grendle1853**

"Maxima?" Batman asks.  
"Hey she helps the League, and well...she seemed lonely," Mr. Terrific answers.  
"There is a reason why she's alone, she's nuts," Batman explains.  
Mr. Terrific raises an eyebrow. "I've never heard you refer to someone as nuts before, especially someone you thought was insane."  
"She's not insane, she is just...off. And she's dangerous. Hence nuts," he clarifies.  
"You know how many of the roster you've just described?" Terrific asks.  
"Hmm...point taken," Batman concedes.  
"Any other problems?" the super genius asks.  
"Yes I believe someone may have hacked my profile, the number of responses it has are suspiciously high," he continues.  
"Oh its not hacked, almost every woman who has a profile has marked you. It seems like you're quite a catch," Mr. Terrific answers.  
Batman looks at him in confused shock. "...why?"  
Terrific shrugs. "Women like a fixer upper?"

**Lordfrieza**

Maxima growled as she slammed her fist into a training bot and ripped its spine out. She watched the machine drop to the ground and then she kicked the 'corpse' across the floor and watched as it slammed into the remainders of its brethren. She walked toward the mirror and studied how she looked in the black training suit. She was fit, trim, and well endowed, so why hadn't any male came forward? Surely they weren't all taken or wanted to do that stupid ritual of dating. She was offering every man aboard the watchtower the chance to impregnate her. Surely there was some who would jump at the chance of making love to a queen.

She touched the mirror and it morphed and changed into a section of the wall again. The one called Batman constantly reminded her how she didn't need to keep changing the walls into mirrors because of structural instability within the watchtower. She disbelieved him of course and simply believed that he didn't know what he was talking about. After all he was a mere human. Granted a talented warrior, and someone she was coming to respect, but a human none the less. She stepped out and looked at the backside of Orion who was walking away from her. A slight smile crossed her lips and she followed the new god.

She stopped when she watched him meet up with another new god and the two of them kissed for a moment. Seeing that he had already chosen a mate she backed away. Still it wasn't really Orion she wanted. Originally she joined the Justice League to convince Superman that she was interested in his interests, but he had seen through her excuses. He knew she was interested in having him give her a child, and because of that she both respected and hated him. Finally she stopped when she heard someone and walked in to see the hero known as Steel working on a section of the Watchtower. She walked toward him and watched as he was feeling for a tool which was not there. She reached out with her mind and came up with the image of a wrench. She reached over and touched a trash receptacle and instantly it turned into the tool he needed and she passed it to him.

"I believe you were searching for this," she said.

"Ummmm thanks," he said before he began to go back to work.

"Tell me, the armor you wear, is it of your own design?" she asked.

"Yeah, it is actually. I made it some time ago," he answered as he worked.

The idea of having intelligent children caused her to smile again. Perhaps being intelligent along with her enhanced strength would be enough to give them the edge they needed.

"Tell me, what are you doing after you finish here?" she asked.

He lifted his head and realized who he was talking to. Like most of the men on the Watchtower he had admired Maxima, but to be honest the woman was crazy. She had made it clear that all she was seeking here was the means to an end and the end was her being with child. He tried to think of an excuse, but nothing was coming out.

"Since it is obvious that you are doing nothing then I demand your presence at dinner tonight. Eight pm, Metropolis, Le 'Cher. Do not disappoint me," she warned before she walked forward.

He waited until she was out of ear shot and pressed the comm link activating it between himself and Batman. "Batman, I have a situation," he said.

**Theamerican**

(Flash talking to John on Facebook chat)

Flash: Hey John you should check out this Watchtower Dating Service Mister T hooked up.

John: Mister T?

Flash: Mister Terrific you know because he has the big 'T' on his face and he is

John: Black?

Flash: That is not what I was going to say!

John: Then what were you going to say?

Flash: I forgot! But seriously dude you should check it out.

John: First off, I already have a girlfriend, and secondly I heard from someone there is only about six people on it. Two of them I don't even know. How did Lobo get on it as well? We kicked him out years ago.

Flash: I don't know. He invited himself. Plus I guess he considers Supes and him to be buddies.

John: Whatever Wally. It is a stupid idea. The only people on it are people no one really knows.

Flash: Batman's on it. He's getting like a gazillion hits.

John: Is gazillion even a number? And word on the street was Clark made him do it.

Flash: Why?

John: Well let's just say some people want Bruce to get a little closer to a certain Amazon.

Flash: We only have one Amazon. Wait Diana and Bruce? Really?

John: Come on kid where have you been? There has been a pool when those two are going to officially seal the deal.

Flash: Wait they like each other? When did that happen?

John: If I knew how to make a rolling of the eyes face on this stupid chat thing I would. I swear Wally you are so dense sometimes.

Flash: I'm sorry. I just don't always like to butt in on people's personal lives!

John: Sure, sure. Which is all the more reason why I am not going to check this site out. I don't care what anyone does in their personal life so they don't need to advertise it for me to see.

Flash: You know Shayera's got a profile on it.

John: What? When?

Flash: A few days ago, she is getting a few hits as well. I guess people are starting to like her again.

John: But why would she do that? That is so unlike her!

Flash: Beats me, although she did mention a lot about rugby and moving on. You should check it out.

John: Why?

Flash: Just saying. Gtg, ttl.

John: Stop it with the text lingo.

(Flash is offline. Mister Terrific is online)

John: Hey Holt!

Mister Terrific: You can call me Mister T!

John: Ok…

Mister Terrific: Just kidding man! It's the stupidest nickname ever. Booster Gold called me that the other day and I threatened to put him on Monitor Duty for a month. What's up?

John: Can you send me the link to the Dating Service Site you set up?

**Grendle1853**

(From the Watchtower's "Hero Hookup Dating Service" invented by Mr. Terrific)

Profile Name: Wonder Woman (though I also go by Diana)  
Age: Unimportant  
Height: 5' 11"  
Gender: Female  
Sexuality: Hetero (sorry :) )  
Weight: 140 lbs.  
Hair: Black  
Race: Amazon

I am writing one of these up because it looks fun. I enjoy many types of physical activities from martial arts, various sports (I am so joining that Rugby League!), yoga, gymnastics, and dancing. I am a lover of history and believe that understanding the past is the only way to prepare for the future, so I am constantly keeping up on historical finds (which a focus on Greek history of course). I do a fair amount of diplomatic and charity work, so I try and keep up on current news as best as I can also, always with an eye on how I can help out. As far as music goes I love Rock and Roll and Metal, they are gifts sent by the gods! Though I am not adverse to other forms of music like Classical, Opera, Jazz...Blues. Family is very important to me as are women's rights, though I do not consider myself a Feminist even though thats what I have been called in the past. I believe men and women should stand as equals is all.

What am I looking for in a romantic partner:

I am looking for a man with a good heart in his chest, a good brain in his head, someone who is serious...and also a bit devious. I would want someone who can keep up with me and my busy life, someone who is interested in the same things I am, and someone who is good with children as I can see myself having some one day. Now that thats out of the way lets get a bit more shameless ;) . I like tall men, tall enough to look at me in the eye when I'm wearing heels is a big plus. I like the feel of a man's muscles so someone who is in good shape would be nice. A well sculpted butt is also important, a man's ass can be a very good thing to see and feel. Also scars, scars can be very sexy on a man, particularly ones received in battle or doing some sort of good work, they show character and they can feel very nice. A deep sexy voice that can also sing isn't bad either, I find I have soft spot in my heart for baritones.

Number of Justice League Members Interested: unknown (48 hour wait period before responses show up)

(Elsewhere)

Batman: "What did you do?"

Mr. Terrific: "I just added a comment section for the profiles. I thought it might be helpful for people to mention why they are interested in someone instead of just marking that they are. Whats so wrong with that?"

Batman: *Face Palm*

Mr. Terrific: "Come on its only League members, and we have some good upstanding people here, so really how bad can it get?"

Batman: *Sadly shakes head then walks way*

Mr. Terrific: "Batman...?"

**Lordfrieza**

(From the Watchtower's "Hero Hookup Dating Service" invented by Mr. Terrific)

Profile Name: Artemis  
Age: I look twentish and we'll leave it at that.  
Height: 6'2''  
Gender: Female  
Sexuality: Hetero I suppose  
Weight: 132 without my armor.  
Hair: Red  
Race: A proud warrior of the Bana-Mighdall and I suppose that makes me an Amazon

I have been told that part of my fitting into this world is to expand my horizons and thus I am to put up a profile... Personally if this goes bad then I am going to inform Diana that this was a stupid idea and a waste of time. Apparently Diana and Donna have insisted that I talk about some of my better traits. I am loyal. I will follow my friends into the very pits of Tartarus, and if you have become my friend I will defend you and your honor with my last breath. I strongly believe that women do not know the extent of their own power. We are not the weaker sex. If a man had to deal with the normal pains a woman deals with he would most likely collapse into a ball of quivering flesh. During my stay here I have found that I do appreciate the male body, and slowly I've found a few who deserve my friendship. Booster Gold is not one of them. If that... pervert so much as comes within three feet of me again I swear by Isis I will ram my sword straight down his throat. What do you mean I can't put that on here? I shall because I don't want him to reply!

My likes...

While I've been here I learned quite a bit and I do enjoy fantasy novels. To be honest the Hobbit is one of my favorites and even though it is a tale about men I find myself englamered by the world described. I've picked up playing Chess and I'm quite adapt at it. I do enjoy the art of _fencing_ but I would rather call it sword play, and I've taken quite a liking to baseball. I've heard the of the Rugby team that has started and it has peaked my interest. I also enjoy movies, but for the life of me I can not get into the Jane Austin books. The way the women are treated in them seems wrong. For example I believe the woman in Pride and Predigest should have taken a blunt object, smacked the offensive pigheaded man over the head, and claimed his goods. I suppose the movies I have enjoyed the most have been the Lord of the Rings Trilogy.

My Dislikes

I do not like being Ogled. I am not a piece of meat. I don't like to be around someone who is arrogant without just cause. The Batman has proved he has just cause, but the others here have not. One can only be arrogant when they have proven themselves. I dislike bullies. There is nothing worse than someone who takes pleasure in the pain of others.

What I am seeking.

I suppose what I am looking for is a friendship. Someone to get to know and spend free time with.

**Kallisto**

Yahoo! Instant Messenger

[Zatanna has signed in]

Zatanna: Hi Shayera :) What are you up to?

Shayera: Hey Zee, just checking emails and going over the rugby sign-up list.

Zatanna: How was the response?

Shayera: Half the Watchtower has signed up. We're almost ready to divide into teams, choose colors, and pick names. For my team I'm thinking we go with the color red and call ourselves The Furies.

Zatanna: Sounds like fun. I'd like to be a part of it, but I don't enjoy playing sports.

Shayera: We could use a referee.

Zatanna: I'm not familiar with the game. What are the rules?

Shayera: It's not complicated, let's plan on going to a match this Friday and I'll explain everything to you then.

Zatanna: Sure, it's not like I have any date plans for Friday anyway. Besides B'wana Beast it's hard to find guys who are interested.

Shayera: I don't get that, guys should be lining up for a date with you. Hell, if I were a guy I'd date you.

Zatanna: Thanks.

Shayera: Maybe you should try the superhero dating service.

Zatanna: Online dating? You're kidding right, that type of thing attracts all sorts of crazy people.

Shayera: There are crazies everywhere, sometimes you just have to take a chance. I have a profile on there, so does Booster Gold, Lobo, Maxima…

Zatanna: Really not helping your argument here.

Shayera: Diana and Artemis just joined. Even Batman has a profile.

Zatanna: Batman doesn't date.

Shayera: Apparently he's trying to change that.

Zatanna: It must be a joke, Flash probably created it himself.

Shayera: I don't think so, it looks real. He's gotten quite a few hits too. I'm just surprised at the number of people interested in the cranky bastard.

Zatanna: Batman has a certain…charm that many people find appealing. Maybe I will join, though I've never done anything like this before.

Shayera: Neither have I, and the main reason I joined was to give John an ultimatum.

Zatanna: On a public website where everyone can see it?

Shayera: It seemed like the best way.

Zatanna: How do you know he'll even see it? He has a girlfriend so it's not like he's going to be perusing a dating site.

Shayera: I had Wally mention it to him.

Zatanna: You really think it will work?

Shayera: Give me some credit here Zee, I know what I'm doing. Speaking of which, I better get off this thing and head for the training room, John will be looking for me soon.

Zatanna: Okay, good luck with everything.

Shayera: Thanks. See you Friday.

[Shayera has signed out]

**Theamerican**

Happy Hour

B'wanna Beast sighed as he walked to the cafeteria. He wanted to find a private place to eat, he didn't want to be around other people.

Finding a small room he could eat in private he took a seat and began to eat his food.

"How can I help ya?" a rough voice asked.

B'wanna Beast looked up and found himself staring at a big white man with grizzly hair and red eyes. He was standing by a makeshift counter. It almost looked like a bar.

"Who the hell are you?" B'wann Beast asked confused.

"Name's Lobo. You can call me the Main Man for short."

"How is that short for Lobo? And since when do we have a bar dude?"

"That's the thing. Ya dweebs don't! How do all ya superheroes go without drinkin'?"

"Hey don't blame me man! Supes and Bats don't drink so…"

Lobo snorted.

"Frag. Why is Supes such a loser? Guys like ya are lucky I founded this secret bar."

"Wait. Are you even part of the League?" B'wanna Beast asked confused.

"I help out from time to time."

Finally B'wanna Beast's memory was starting to kick in.

"Wait a minute…" he said while eyeing Lobo suspiciously. "You got kicked out!"

"I left!" Lobo denied.

"Sure. I'm going to tell Supes!" B'wanan Beast said getting up.

"Yo geek wait! Let me make a deal. I'll sell drinks half price to ya!"

"How much is half price?"

"About what ya wimps call 20 dollars."

"Screw that!" B'wanna Beast said and made to leave again.

"Well there's gotta be something I can help ya with! Coem on! I'm the Main Man!"

B'wanna Beast snorted.

"Unless you can help me get a certain female Leaguer's phone number, you are useless dude…" he replied as he was about to open the door.

Lobo's eyes lit up.

"So it's a girl ya want? Well I can help ya with that!"

"No offense dude, but you don't look like a ladies man."

Lobo shrugged.

"Believe what ya want but I will tell ya something, chicks dig bikes."

B'wanna Beast paused. Despite all rational thought telling him to ignore Lobo, the masculine part of him was agreeing with the alien.

"That's true…" B'wanan Beast bemoaned.

"Come on I can help ya out!" Lobo asked leading B'wanna Beast back to a barstool. "What's her name?"

"Well her name's Zatanna and she's a witch…"

Lobo snorted.

"Those type of women are usually great in bed…"

"She's actually a witch!" B'wanan Beast cried a little upset that Lobo was implying that Zatanna was mean.

"Sure, sure. Well because I like ya kid, I'm gonna help ya out. I'm gonna give ya a makeover!"

"A makeover?"

"No offense but that thin' ya're wearin' is not goin' to get ya the ladies!"

"It's part of my costume!" B'wanna Beast protested.

Lobo sighed and patted him on the back.

"So much to learn kiddo, so much to learn."

B'wanna Beast still did not think it was a good idea, but what other options did he have?

"Fine. You win."

"Great! We'll start tomorrow! Meet here!"

B'wanan Beast sighed and made to leave the makeshift bar, but he had one more question.

"Uh dude, how do you even get in here when Sueprman kicked you out?"

"I left!" Lobo denied again before looking around.

He then proceeded to whisper, "There's so many of ya heroes around no one bothers to stop me. As long as I don't run into the big seven, everyone assumes I work here."

B'wanna Beast sighed and left, leaving Lobo alone in his bar.

Lobo snuck to the door to peak out.

"Fragger!" he muttered. Maxima was still eating her lunch. No way he can sneak by her without her clinging onto him again. He thought he would never see her again after he was hired by her to kill some monster or something. He couldn't even remember anymore.

Lobo sighed. Guess he would have to keep the bar open after hours until she left.

But Lobo was not alone for long. Within a few minutes after B'wanna Beast had left, someone else entered. She was tall with blond hair and fierce eyes. She looked a little dirty like she just walked away from a fight.

"Can I help ya?" Lobo asked. She was almost as tall as him.

The woman glared at him.

"What is this?" she demanded threateningly.

"It's a bar."

Immediately that woman's eyes lit up.

"Now you are talking. And Diana was telling me there wasn't one here!"

Lobo grinned as the woman took a seat with her food.

"Name's Lobo," the Czarnian said while offering his hand and winking a little.

The woman did not take too kindly to that gesture and instead glared at him.

"Artemis," she said curtly. "Get me one of those!"

Lobo grunted annoyed and pulled out a bottle of beer and slide it toward her.

"That'll be 40!"

"What?"

"40 dollars!" Lobo demanded stretching his hand out. "But for you babe, I'll go to 20."

Artemis looked a little embarrassed.

"Well I don't have money…"

"Well you aren't gettin' this then," Lobo replied smugly and took the bottle away.

Artemis glared at him, he was really pushing her buttons.

"I don't have to pay for food in the cafeteria!"

"This is the cash bar lady!" Lobo taunted.

Before he could react, Artemis had knocked over the make shift bar.

"Frag!" Lobo cried as it fell on him. He then felt a vice grip grab him by the throat.

Artemis was glaring at him.

"Don't you ever call me lady or babe again you sexist monster!"

Lobo just grinned.

"Girlie…" he whispered.

Artemis threw him against the wall with so much force, Lobo made a dent in it.

"Bastiche…" he swore before he collapsed on the ground.

Artemis looked a little proud at what she did and stormed out. Lobo came to not to long after she had left.

"Ooh I like her," Lobo remarked, ignoring the throbbing pain in his head and the current mess his bar was in.

_TBC. Reviews are always welcome and appreciated!_


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm glad a lot of people seem to be interested in this story. I'd like to thank those of you who were nice enough to review. Here is part 2!**

**Theamerican**

Double Trouble

"What do you mean you have a situation?" Batman yelled. He didn't mean to but he was in the middle of a firefight. He was in the process of dodging bullets being shot by Two-Face.

"Uh well…I have dinner with Maxima tonight in about an hour actually," Steel said embarrassed and nervous on the other end.

Batman paused. Seriously? He was in the middle of getting shot at and Steel was calling him about having dinner with a crazy woman?

A bullet whizzing past him brought his attention back.

Batman quickly ducked behind a beam.

"You can't hide Batman!" Two-Face called in his hoarse voice. "There is no way out."

Batman sighed with annoyance and pressed a button on his belt. It was sending out a signal. Time to do it the old fashion way and call in the cavalry.

And by cavalry, that meant bats. Yep he was calling on his bats to help him.

Problem was, it would take them awhile, meaning he would have to dodge Two-Face until they get there and he was running out of places to hide since Two-Face and his men were demolishing them with his machine guns.

"If you are busy Batman, I can call back…"

"No, I'm not," Batman lied as he threw a battarang to distract the nearest shooter. That allowed him enough time to grapple onto the rafter.

"So what happened?" Batman asked as Two-Face's men scrambled around to readjust their fire.

"Well she walked up to me and I don't know. It happened so fast…"

"Do you like her?"

"What? No! I mean she is cute and nice, but she is crazy. Why did we even recruit her?"

"I don't know, it wasn't my call. Look Steel, you better go on this date with her. The best option you have is to convince her she is not right for you."

"There he is!" cried one of the shooters and Batman was greeted with a barrage of bullets.

Batman groaned and swung behind a box of crates. "On second thought, you convince her that you are not right for her. It will make your job easier."

Steel seemed to have felt better.

"Thanks Bruce…"

"Don't use my name!" Batman hissed angrily. But Steel had already hung up.

Batman sighed.

"Which way did he go boss?" Batman heard one of the goons ask.

Batman heard Two-Face flip a coin.

"You guys check over there, while the rest check over here!" Two-Face ordered.

Batman felt his commlink ringing again.

Why was it whenever his life was in danger people seemed to call him?

"Batman," he whispered. He was out of battarangs and did not want to be found yet.

"Hey Bruce, it's Zana," a female voice said on the other line.

Batman paused.

"What is it Zatanna?" he asked with concern.

"Nothing. I was just curious to when you started to consider actually seriously dating."

"I-what?" Batman said a little too loud.

"I think I heard something over there!" a goon called. Batman swore at his own lapse.

"What are you talking about?"

"Shayera just told me you have a dating profile on that online thing Mister Terrific set up."

Batman groaned. What the hell was wrong with people?

"Zatanna this isn't the time to talk…"

"I don't know why you even need that. There are plenty of women on the League interested in you Bruce. Especially a certain Amazon princess…"

"Look Zana, this isn't a good time! I'll call you back!" Batman said just as some goons finally located him. He kicked one, sending him flying into his friends, and then once again he grappled onto the rafter.

Where the hell were those bats? Batman wasn't sure what he rather face right now; Two-Face catching him or someone calling him with more drama for him to fix.

For the third time his commlink buzzed.

Batman groaned and answered it.

"Batman," he whispered angrily making sure to add a Batglare even though he knew whoever he was talking to couldn't see it.

"Uh…I'm sorry Bruce, are you busy?" asked an angelic voice on the other line.

"No, I'm not Diana," Batman lied, quickly changing his tone.

"Why can't you idiots kill him?" cried Two-Face as his men resumed their really bad firing.

"What was that?" Diana asked worried.

"Just doing some routine patrol. Why did you call me?"

"I was just asking you if you had seen my online profile yet…"

"Yes!" he blurted out. "I mean, I glimpsed at it."

"I just wanted to make sure I did everything right. Do you think guys will not be interested in me?"

"What made you think of that?"

"Booster Gold made a comment about my lasso. I think he seems more interested in my equipment than me."

Batman clenched his teeth and closed his eyes. He was going to have a nice little chat with Booster Gold about sexual harassment later.

"Look Diana, you don't need to rely on online dating to find someone. You should go out and explore more. See real people, not what a computer profile says."

"Oh. Well thank you for the help Bruce," Diana said. Batman didn't detect the little disappointment in her voice when she hung up.

Batman sighed. What was with these superheroes? They were worse than Dick when he was in high school. Wait a minute. He just encouraged Diana to go around and try to find people to date…

BANG!

Batman lost his balance and fell. It wasn't a big fall, but enough to wind him a little.

Two-Face and his men surrounded the Dark Knight. Two-Face was grinning madly.

"Any last words?"

Batman could hear the faint sound of his bats coming. Thank God.

The bats burst into the warehouse, blinding Two-Face and his men. Batman easily took advantage of this distraction and managed to subdue each man one by one. Within five minutes, Batman had successfully subdued and tied up every crook.

Killing the signal so the bats wouldn't follow him, he grappled out of the warehouse. It was only the first hour of patrol and yet it felt like so much had happened in that small time span.

000000

(On Facebook again)

Flash: Hey Supes, how you doing?

Superman: Pretty good. How about you?

Flash: Fine. Have you checked the online dating profile Mister T set up last week?

Superman: Not in a while. Why? Is Batman getting a lot of hits?

Flash: Yeah. Shayera and Diana are on it too. I put one for you as well.

Superman: That's grea...wait what?

Flash: I put a profile for you as well. Don't worry, you can edit it if you want.

Superman: Why would you do that?

Flash: What?

Superman: I have girlfriend Wally!

Flash: You do? Wait are you and Lois a couple?

Superman: Yes! You have to get rid of it. Especially before Maxima sees it.

Flash: On it. Why didn't you tell me you and her were a couple.

Superman: We wanted to keep it secret Wally.

Flash: Well now you see what happens when you keep secrets?

Superman: Wally!

Flash: Okay, okay. There I did it, happy?

Superman: How long has that been on there?

Flash: Only two days. Come on Lois is not going to know.

Superman: uh…

Flash: Wait did you give her a link to it?

Superman: I gave it so she could see Bruce's profile!

Flash: Whoa calm down Supes. She probably didn't see it and I deleted it so we are good.

Superman: I guess so. Oh Wally!

Flash: What did I do this time?

Superman: My commlink just rang. Do you know who's on the other line? Lois!

Flash: Oops. Uh, ttyl?

Superman: I am going to kill you Wally…

**Lordfrieza**

(Le 'Cher Restaurant - Metropolis - Eight PM)

John Henry Irons walked into the restaurant knowing it was going to be a mistake. His mask, and gauntlets were a stark contrast to the tuxedo he was wearing. He looked to see Maxima, or Queen Maxima, sitting a small table near the window. Unlike earlier she wore a simple and elegant red dress, which came down right above her knees but showed ample cleavage. Swallowing, he knew it would be best to simply convince her that they just aren't compatible and be done with it. After all she was the queen of an alien race and he was a technical genus and engineering guru. Those two worlds didn't go together at all. He neared the table and took a seat across from her.

"I knew that you could keep your date," Maxima said as she looked toward him.

She didn't even seem like the same woman. Her lips seemed to be a deeper red, her makeup barely seemed to be there, and her speech and mannerisms seemed so different. In truth this was a far, far different woman than he had been dealing with before. He half expected her to simply rip his clothes off and get down to business, since she made it perfectly obvious before that thats all wanted. Instead she was being polite, refined, and everything he believed royalty really should act like.

"Are you that stunned or do you simply not speak?" Maxima asked.

"I'm sorry, it's just you seem like a completely different person," he replied.

"Does it bother you?" she asked.

"No, I'm just surprised, pleasantly surprised," he answered.

"I took the liberty of ordering for us ahead of time. I believe I ordered us steak tartar, and the sauce they offered with it," Maxima said.

A moment later the waiter brought out two dishes of thinly chopped raw steak and a single bowl of a thick red sauce. The waiter added the sauce to both of their plates. He turned and reached into a ice bucket and pulled out a bottle of white wine, then poured them both a glass.

"Is there anything else we can get for you your highness?" the waiter asked.

"No, but thank you," she said.

They began to eat and John felt himself more at ease with Maxima than he thought he would have been. She wasn't acting insane, or unruly and at the same time he wondered if the entire business between her and Superman had simply been blown out of proportion. Those thoughts soon began to chance once Maxima finished her plate.

"I believe this is the point of the evening where you remark on how I look, I blush, act coy, and then we go back to your place and proceed to breed. I do not act coy. You may still remark on my beauty, but I am ready for you make me with child," she said.

He nearly choked on what she just said and looked at her. She informed him that she was ready for him to take her home and have sex with her.

"Wouldn't my human DNA be too inferior?" he asked hoping that it would cause her to reconsider.

"I've considered my options and I believe that intelligence would be more of a benefit than simple strength. Now...where is your home?"

John swallowed and looked around hoping for some kind of emergency. He actually wished that she would have requested they go to some place in Gotham. The crazies there always caused some kind of trouble. Still his prayers were answered, in a fashion, by Livewire as she made her appearance apparently attempting to escape from Superman.

"Don't worry ladies and gentlemen, I'll only be here a second!" Livewire shouted as she looked around the room.

"Thank God," John muttered as he stood and pressed a button on his gauntlet which caused his armor to completely expand and cover him.

"Before we do anything we need to capture her, and turn her into the authorities," John said.

Maxima looked toward the disruption and growled. She stood and grabbed her chair. John watched as she hurled it toward Livewire, catching the villainess in the side of the head.

"How dare you interrupt the date of Queen Maxima! You shall pay for you insolence with your very life!" Maxima shouted as she moved toward the recouping super villain.

John instantly opened the comms.

"Anyone in Metropolis get to LeCher quickly. There is a major situation which needs attention!" John shouted.

"Not a problem geek," came the voice of Lobo.

"Oh God..." John muttered as he realized the situation was only going to get worse.

**Theamerican**

"What do you mean by 'being Superman sure can get lonely, so I am looking for a lot of love?!'" Lois demanded angrily.

Superman, the mighty Man of Steel, was backing away slightly nervously.

"For the last time, I didn't write that, Flash did."

"Why did you put an add on an online dating profile then? I thought we were dating!"

"We are!"

Lois turned around angrily.

"I was all like, 'don't believe him Lois, he doesn't love you.' But no, I didn't listen…"

"I do love you Lois!"

"Do you know how I felt, Smallville, when I saw this? I thought I was a fool…"

"Wait did you just call me Smallville?" Superman asked.

Lois's mouth hung open. She had just let slip she knew his secret identity all along.

"You knew all this time?" Superman asked, a little betrayed. Now it was Lois's turn to explain herself.

"I…wanted to see if you really loved me that you would tell me yourself…"

"And you were judging me for something someone else put online…"

"This is different Clark!" she said. God how long she waited to be able to call him that when he was in costume. "This is just messing with my emotions!" she justified.

"And making me think you love Superman and not Clark isn't?" Superman shot back.

For the second time Lois was speechless.

Superman sighed. Could this get any worse?

Suddenly the TV that was on was showing a news report. Superman didn't have his commlink in at the time. Not that he would be able to hear anything over Lois's shouting anyways.

The news report was outside LeCher. It looked like some disaster was happening. All of a sudden, someone on what looked like a flying space bike crashed through the restaurant. No it couldn't be…

But the report replayed the footage again, confirming Clark's suspicions. There was Lobo, crashing his bike into the already disaster that was formerly known as LeCher. What was Lobo doing there?

Superman looked at Lois guiltily.

She sighed, "Go. I understand. We **will** talk later."

Superman flew hoping to avoid another catastrophe.

00000

Maxima was currently wrestling with Livewire, neglecting the damage that their fight was causing. John was doing his best to help evacuate civilians. They needed to get as many out with this fight going on, especially if Lobo was coming.

John spoke too soon. There was a loud crash and Lobo sped his bike through.

"Have no fear dweebs, the Main Man is here!" Lobo shouted not even paying attention to how his bike almost crashed into a civilian, who dodged just in time.

"Are you insane?" John complained. "You don't even work for the League!"

"Who the hell are ya geek?" Lobo asked pointing his gun suspiciously as he got off his bike.

"I'm Steel you idiot!"

"Lobo!" cried a high pitch voice.

Both John and Lobo turned around to see Maxima had temporarily stopped fighting with her foe. She was looking at Lobo with the eyes of a puppy dog.

"You never called, why-ow!" she cried.

Livewire had managed to take advantage of her distraction and broke free. Maxima responded by using a discarded candle to light a table cloth on fire and attempt to capture Livewire in it, not worrying about the smaller fires she had caused.

"Aw frag, what the hell is she doin' here?" Lobo complained. He looked scared upon the realization Maxima was here.

"What the hell are **you** even doing here?" John demanded. "Get out!"

Lobo leaned in.

"Who's going to make me?" Lobo taunted.

At that moment, John did not know what possessed him but maybe it was just how everything had gone horribly wrong in the last five minutes that he just couldn't keep his temper.

He hit Lobo with one good punch, knocking the Czarnian off his feet.

Lobo took off his jacket.

"Ya wana start?" Lobo yelled as he and John began to wrestle each other.

The sight of that had caused Maxima to again temporarily stop fighting Livewire.

"Oh this is so much better now! Two respectable suitors are fighting for the right to be the father of my children!" she said excitedly.

At that moment Superman burst through a wall. The Man of Steel came to a screeching halt at the sight of Lobo and John rolling around the ground calling each other names like little kids.

"Now Superman is here too! That makes three suitors to fight for me!" Maxima squealed as she almost passed out in excitement.

**Grendle1853**

Diana came home tired, having decided to try and use battle to get her out of the funk that the call to Bruce had put her in. She sat down, turned on the tv, and began removing her boots. She looks up when the television reports the battle going on in the restaurant in Metropolis, the live feed being enough to finally give her a smile. She took off her comlink as she was laughing, she did not want to be called in to settle that little mess. "Sorry Kal," she says as she leaves the little round device on the table in front of her.

After taking off the boots she decides to walk to her bedroom to continue changing, and stops when she sees her computer. Against her better judgment she takes a seat in front of it and decides to check her profile. She brings it up only for it to tell her that someone who she marked as "interested" has recently marked her as "interested" as well, and sent her a message. "Hmm...thats odd. The only person I marked as interested was..." the weariness leaves her in a second as she quickly opens up the message.

It reads:  
_Dear Diana,  
If it pleases you I would like you to come to my home on Friday at 6PM for dinner. Alfred's cooking.  
Sincerely,  
Bruce_

Diana's face breaks into a huge grin as she reads it, then she leans back with an odd kind of contentment washing over her. After a second of that she picks up the phone and dials a familiar number. "Hey, Zatanna speaking," the woman on the other end of the line answers.

"Hello, its Diana. I need you help me pick out something to wear for Friday," she explains.

"Whats the occasion?" the magician asks.

"Dinner with Bruce, at the Manor," the Princess answer, her smile growing wicked.

"Oooh, sweat!" Zatanna says. "What kind of message do you want to send? The 'I'm sophisticated royalty and thus am not going to take no for an answer' or 'I'm an Amazon and I can do things to you that you haven't even seen in you dreams'?"

"Yes," Diana answers.

"See you tomorrow at two," Zatanna tells her, giggling.

Diana hangs up the phone and goes down the list of all the other women who have marked Batman as "interested". "Sorry laddies," she remarks, "but he is mine now."

**Lordfrieza**

(LeCher - two hours after the fight between Livewire and Maxima)

Lobo, Clark, and John looked at the destruction before them. The once high end, expensive, and fancy French Restaurant was now in shambles. One would have thought that it couldn't have gotten any worse, except John Steward had been called in to help clean up, for some reason no one could raise Diana, and Shayera had volunteered to help. In the end Livewire had begged to go back to Strikers, Maxima was practically picking out baby names because she had three suitors to choose from, and Stewart was looking accusingly at the three heroes who had demolished the building.

"I don't even want to begin with how this happened, but Steel you and Superman should have known better. Lobo has the excuse that he's an idiot, but the two of you are part of the League!" John Stewart said.

"I called for help and tall, dark, and moronic here came in. Don't blame me!" John Irons shouted back at him.

"Moronic? Moronic? Listen dweeb the Main Man took time out of his job to help you," Lobo said with a growl.

"And then you ended up fighting with Steel anyway," Clark chimed in.

"Superman, you're not above this. I would have thought that you would have tried to reason with them," John Stewart replied to him.

"Well...look there's no talking to Lobo all right!" Clark exclaimed.

"It could be worse John. The owner has insurance, the people are safe, and it was a great fight," Shayera stated.

"Yeah, exactly what the hawk chick said! This was fun!" Lobo shouted.

"You're all lucky that Batman isn't here," John Steward said before his comm went off.

"Scratch that... Batman has been notified of what happened, and wants to _talk_ to each of you on the Watchtower," John Steward said.

(Half an hour later - Founder's meeting room)

"There are protocols for a reason. We don't fight amongst ourselves outside of training, we don't endanger the public, and we don't incite a miniature riot," Bruce said through clenched teeth. "The three, no the four of you did just that!"

"I did nothing more than attempt to apprehend the criminal," Maxima stated.

"You endangered the public, destroyed private property, and from eye witness accounts you were cheering them on in the fight," Bruce replied acidly toward her.

"Look Bats, I came in to help..." Lobo started before Bruce walked straight up to him glared at him.

"And you made the situation worse. This didn't call for the finesse of a bulldozer," Bruce said as he turned toward Clark.

"And Superman whatever the trouble is that affected your judgement in joining in on the fight, leave it outside of League business. I've already spoken to J'onn, Flash, John, and Shayera. It was the only way that I could see of ensuring the punishment would be fair. All four of you are on monitor duty for the next three months. You will take shifts, you will be the only ones on. Once thats done the Javelins will need to be cleaned, once they are you will assist with cafeteria until the three months are over," Bruce told them.

"Wait, I'm a founder!" Clark exclaimed.

"And that's why I spoke to J'onn, John, Flash, and Shayera. The punishment was agreed on by the entire inner council," Bruce said.

"What about Diana?!" Clark asked surprised.

"She spoke to me and suggested it. It seems that it is as close to shoveling manure, an old Amazon punishment, that she could think of. Now the four of you need to get started," Bruce said as he turned around.

"I will not be reduced to manual labor! I am Queen Maxima!" Maxima shouted.

"Maxima, you are not above the rules of the Justice League, nor are you above anyone else here. I don't care if your title is Goddess you will do what has been said, or I will have Diana drag you to Themyscira, where Queen Hippolyta will force you to shovel Manure for the next three months," Bruce growled.

That reaction caused Maxima to back off.

**Theamerican**

B'wanna Beast made his way to the secret bar. He couldn't believe he was doing this. He wouldn't be surprised if Lobo didn't even show up. After that fiasco last night, who knows if Lobo was even allowed to be in the Watchtower anymore?

But still desperation mixed with curiosity won B'wanna Beast over and he headed to the secret room expecting it to be empty.

To his surprise Lobo was there still, whistling happily along.

"Hey glad you can make it man," Lobo said as he wiped the bar counter. B'wanna Beast noticed it looked like it had recently been destroyed and put back together crudely.

"I thought they were going to kick you out dude," B'wanna Beast asked, unsure.

Lobo grinned.

"Those lollipops can't kick me out if I'm not part of the League."

"I'm not sure that's how it's supposed to work…"

"Hey they got me working Monitor Duty and cafeteria duty. Technically I'm supposed to be on cafeteria duty but enough about me. Today it's about you and your dame."

"Zatanna. Her name is Zatanna."

"Sure whatever. Well first thin' we do before we start our makeover, is we find what her plans are for the upcomin' days."

"Why?" B'wanna Beast asked a little nervously. He wasn't a stalker or a perv.

"That way after our makeover, you can "accidentally run into her" as one cool cat and impress her when she's buyin' groceries, goin' shoppin', the movies, I don't know, chick stuff! What's her room number?"

"You aren't going to break into her room!" B'wanna Beast called.

"Fine, you want to do it the old fashion way?"

Before B'wanna Beast could reply, Lobo pulled out some strange looking computer. He put on some headphones and began to fiddle around.

"How do you know how to work that dude?"

"I'm good at sciency stuff. Wait 'till I tell you what I did for my last science projest."

"Did you bug her?" B'wanna Beast asked horrified that Lobo was listening to a conversation Zatanna was having with someone else on her commlink.

Lobo snorted.

"Please Batman and that guy that hates shoelaces do it all the time! I'm just piggybackin' off their own technology."

"But they wouldn't abuse it like you are doing!"

"We aren't abusin', I'm just tryin' to help ya score a chick!" Lobo defended. "Ah here we go!"

Lobo was listening to something before his eyes lit up with a manic gleam.

"Here we go," he remarked and listened. He then shut the computer.

"Well she just called Wonder Babe on that comm thingy to confirm a shoppin' trip they are goin' on tomorrow! I got the place they are goin'!"

"You were listening to a private conversation!" B'wanna Beast complained.

"But it's not ya; it's me! Why do ya feel so bad? Look here's what we do! We are goin' to go on our own little man shoppin' later tonight after I close this bar down and do Monitor Duty or whatever ya call it. We'll do yar makeover and accidentally have ya run into her tomorrow durin' her shoppin' trip. Trust me, she's gonna be all happy and girly, and she'll be more responsive! Trust me on this!"

B'wanna Beast wasn't sure. This seemed just like one bad plan, but the stupid masculine part of him was egging him on. This would be the only time he could make a good impression on Zatanna.

"Fine."

"Great man! Don't worry; Good ol' Lobo is goin' hook ya up! I'll come by yar room when we're ready to go man shoppin'"

B'wanna Beast sighed. He hoped he wouldn't regret this as he left the bar.

Lobo began to lock everything up. Another slow day.

However, when he was about to leave, someone tall stormed in.

Lobo smiled when he recognized the newcomer. It was Artemis again. She was still staring at him fiercely.

"What can I get ya babe? Ya got cash this time?"

Artemis slammed two twenty dollar bills on the remade bar so hard she almost broke it again.

Lobo gave her two bottles. Artemis opened the first one and chugged it down. Within a second she was opening her second.

"I see you remade your puny bar," she said haughtily.

"Can't fault a guy for tryin'."

And with that Lobo suddenly punched her in the face.

Artemis was caught off guard and she fell off the barstool.

"What was that for?" she cried angrily. Why didn't she have her sword with her?

"I ran out of insults!" Lobo complained.

Artemis responded with one swift kick in the groin.

"Now that's just fightin' dirty," Lobo complained weakly before he collapsed. That would take a while to heal. And he had Monitor Duty in ten minutes. It was going to be a long shift.

Artemis got up satisfied. She grabbed her second beer and finished it with a gulp. She kneeled down to Lobo who was breathing heavily.

"Make sure you have this open again tomorrow. Or next time I'll hit that area with my sword."

And with that she destroyed his bar again and stomped out proudly.

Maybe she was being a little too excessive in force but she needed an outlet. She didn't want to go on this shopping trip with Zatanna and Donna that Diana had invited her to go on tomorrow.

**Lordfrieza**

(Javelin Hanger - Number 2)

Clark looked at the Javelins. He didn't know for sure, but he was fairly certain that Bruce had came by, scorched the sides of each Javelin, and then threw on some kind of cosmic mud that was hell to wipe off. He watched as Maxima was working on a Javelin across from him and even her telekinetic abilities wasn't moving the strange orange glowing mud. Instead she was being forced to manually scrub the sides of the Javelins. She had began to do the chore in her 'royal' attire, but Kara had convinced her it would be better to do it in something else. So now Maxima, Queen of the Almerac Empire, was dressed in a pair of daisy duke cut offs, white tee shirt, and black sandals. She stopped what she was doing and groaned.

"What in the name of the great Almeracian Empire is this? Why will it simply not come off?!" Maxima shouted as she scrubbed harder and finally a six inch by eight inch section of the mud fell off. "Finally!"

She leaned back and looked at Kal-El. She enjoyed the thought of being with him, but then the one known as Steel did hold his own against Lobo and Kal-El. His ingenious armor protected him and gave him similar strength. The idea of children smart enough to do that brought a small smile to her face and a gentle chuckle.

"What are you laughing about?" Clark asked as he finally managed to get some of the Javelin clean.

"I was considering my options. I truly had my eyes set on you, but the one known as Steel... I believe my children with him would be far more intelligent, and that is what I could truly use. My Empire would benefit from intelligent children," Maxima replied.

"That's great, but I would suggest taking things slower. Most men like to think that they've lead the situation," Clark said.

"Perhaps... Still I do not want to wait forever," Maxima said.

"I'm just saying get to know him before you decide to go after him," Clark replied.

(Blüdhaven - Dick Grayson's apartment)

The sound of the telephone ringing finally roused Dick out of bed. He looked over at the blond headed body snoring lightly next to him. He grinned as he took in the former CADMUS agent and climbed out of bed and walked toward the phone.

"Bruce has a date," said the voice of Barbara Gordon.

"Selina?" he asked figuring the Cat Burglar was back in town.

"No, it's an Amazon Princess. Say...didn't you date one of those once upon a time?" Barbara asked.

He knew she was trying to get a rise out of him and it was working.

"That would have been Kyle and Roy. Donna and I were and still are friends," Dick replied.

"Uh huh. That's like saying our relationship was completely platonic," Barbara said with a small bark of laughter. "So, hows the deadliest weapon?"

"You know Babs it wouldn't hurt you to give 'Tea a break," Dick said.

"She worked for CADMUS, attacked the Watchtower, has killed dozens of people..." Barbara started.

"And did most of it because she was brainwashed into believing she was doing the right thing," Dick finished.

"I don't trust her, and I never will. Besides Bruce dating there is some other news," Babs said.

"What's that?" Dick asked.

"The Justice League has a dating site," she said.

"Wait, what are you talking about?" Dick asked.

"Wait three seconds and then pick up your LG Optimus," Barbara said.

He did and when he picked it up a text came through. He opened the text and it instantly transferred over to the dating site. He looked at the people on it and nearly choked as he saw Artemis.

"Wait Artemis?!" Dick exclaimed.

"Wild isn't it? So...I thought that since you are part of the League I should post you a page," Babs stated.

"Ummmm not a good idea. I'm kind of already dating," Dick replied.

"Yeah, but it would be fun to watch you explain your way out of it," Babs said as she hung up on his land line. A second later he watched as a new Profile appeared.

Profile Name: Nightwing

Age: 26

Height: 5'11"

Gender: male

Sexuality: Bi

Weight: 190lbs

Hair: Dark

Race: American

So what to say about me… I'm Nightwing and that doesn't mean Batman lite. I'm not Batman Jr, or son of the Bat. Currently I'm seeing a Blond Kryptonian, but hey I'm willing to trade up. In the past I've dated two princesses, a super intelligent genius that I was an idiot to get rid of, my landlord, a handful of villainesses, and some other heroes.

A few of my positive traits are that I'm fit, acrobatic, and inventive.

What I'm seeking is someone who is interested in more than just a relationship, or basically they just want to screw around. I've got a relationship, but hey the bear needs to test more honey than in just one pot.

My likes are quite nights in front of a fire, reading Orson Wells, and making the one I'm with melt from the amount of passion I naturally exude.

My dislikes are as follows… I don't like getting the cold shoulder, being compared to Batman, told that while I'm loved and desired the responsibilities of a princess and soon to be queen come first, and being told that Batman is better after a round of quality sex.

Number of Justice League members interested: unknown (48 hour wait period before responses show up)

Dick quickly tried to erase the post, but it had been password protected and he knew that only Barbara knew the code.

"Damn it Babs..." he muttered.

(Gotham - Andre's Boutique)

Diana looked at the dresses Donna was pointing out as Artemis rolled her eyes. She didn't understand the need to be here.

"Di, this is perfect," Donna said as she held up a small black dress.

"It is cute," Zatanna chimed in.

"It's not very practical," Artemis said.

The other three looked at her.

"It has no reasonable defenses, it leaves the center of your chest exposed for enemy attacks, and while the bottom of it is short enough to keep from restricting movement, it hardly seems like it could protect your upper thighs or anything else," Artemis stated.

"It's for a date. This isn't for fighting," Donna said slowly.

"Does not your dates with this man end in fighting anyway?" Artemis asked.

"That was different. It was a charity event and a rival government's force attacked," Diana replied.

"Do you not think something similar will happen?" Artemis asked.

"She has a point. Trouble does seem to be drawn to him," Zatanna said as she shrugged her shoulders.

"I'll have my Bracelets on," Diana said.

Artemis shook her head and began to walk around the store.

"Excuse me miss, would you like to try some of a new perfume?" a woman asked before she squirted a fine mist into Artemis' direction.

Artemis growled and began to stomp her way toward the woman before Donna ran up behind her and with-strained her.

"Hey, calm down she didn't know any better," Donna said.

**Theamerican**

B'wanna Beast, who was in his civilian guise of Mike Maxwell, gulped when he saw the smaller Amazon restrain the taller one from throttling the perfume lady. He had no idea Artemis was going to be here.

"Are ya ready bud?" Lobo asked. They were hiding behind a clothes rack. Lobo was trying to go incognito but failing miserably. Since when do old ladies wear half torn leather jackets?

"No, I feel like an idiot," Mike said looking at his outfit. His hair was spiked and he wore a shirt that advertised some death metal band. He wore torn jeans and biker boots with a red bandanna tied around his neck. He reeked of cigarettes. He hated cigarettes. The worst part was Lobo made him pierce one of his ears. He was wearing an earring with an alligator tooth dangling from it. This didn't fit him at all.

"Trust me ya goin' do fine."

"Wait aren't you supposed to be on Monitor Duty?"

"Got Question to cover for me, I told him the Illuminati had hacked our systems so he's combin' through every computer right now."

"Yo, that's not the definition of covering your shift dude!" Mike cried. "He's supposed to watch over the screens and alert of any disasters."

"Wait, we are supposed to let others know when a disaster happens?" Lobo asked legitimately surprised. "I thought I was just supposed to watch them."

"I can't believe you dude!" Mike cried. "I'm getting out of here."

"Oh no yar not! Ya gonna go talk to her and get laid!" Lobo shouted. "Now's yar chance. Wonder Babe is changin' so yar girl's alone, go talk to her!"

And with that Lobo pushed Mike out toward Zatanna.

Lobo then turned to watch as Donna had led Artemis away to the food court.

"Now I got a score to settle," Lobo grinned wickedly. "I do like a dame who likes it rough."

**Grendle1853**

Bruce is sitting at his computer in the cave when he calls up his Ward. "Dick, I need you to do the patrol in Gotham on Friday night," he tells him.

"For you date with Wonder Woman?" Dick asks.

"Yes," Bruce answers, completely unsurprised that he knew, gossip like this just could not be contained in the world of capes. "I just put Two-Face and in crew behind bars, so the city should be quiet."

"No problem, I could use the time out of Bludhaven right now anyway," Dick tells him.

"Why, what happened?" Bruce asks.

"Nothing big, its just that 'Tea is kind of mad at me lately," the younger man explains.

"What did you do?" his mentor asks.

"I didn't do anything, Babs thought it would be funny to post a profile for me on the League's dating service, then email it to Galatea," Dick explains. He pauses when he hears the Batman laugh on the other end of the line. "Oh you think thats funny?"

"Well I was waiting to see how Karma would get you back for that one Dick," he answers.

"Karma for what? I was a complete gentleman with her," his ward says.

"Didn't you sleep with Barbra when you were going to drop off the invitation to your and Star Fire's wedding?" Bruce asks.

"...good point," he admits.

"I'll have Mr. Terrific take down the profile and I'll have a talk with Galatea," Bruce tells him, "just show up on Friday night. Cassandra will meet you in the cave before you two go out."

"Thanks Bruce," Dick says before hanging up.

Batman just shakes his head before getting back to work.

**Lordfrieza**

The effect of being shoved out of the clothing rack by Lobo was supposed to be to get Mike close to Zatanna, instead it caused him to bump into her. His bumping into her caused them both to loose balance and Zatanna fell on her butt while Mike/B'wanna Beast fell neatly into her lap. The moment he realized what happened he backed up and laughed nervously.

"S...sorry," he said.

"It's all right, I'm sure that it's not permanently damaged," Zatanna said as she stood up with his help.

They both turned as they heard a loud curse.

On the other side of the store.

"You pig headed, arrogant, perverted MAN!" Artemis shouted as she glared at Lobo.

In truth ripping the Amazon's top wasn't his plan. He had actually intended to get into a fight with her. He figured it was a close to flirting as she would do, and besides it would only serve her right if he got a little payback. So when he tripped, fell forward, reached out and grabbed the nearest thing to stop his fall it was seriously an accident.

Still even with her seething mad he had to admire how beautiful she was.

"I'm going to split you from your groin to your stomach," Artemis said as she grabbed a clothing rack, ripped the rail off, straightened it to a point.

"I think you should run," Donna said as she stepped back.

The next thing that erupted was a battle cry and everyone watched as a nearly topless Amazon attacked a large, burly, chalk white biker. The fighting would have continued, and perhaps even became a situation much like LeCher if it hadn't been for Zatanna.

"Uoy owt etarapes thgir won!" she said and through magical force they were pulled apart, thrown against the wall, and held there. Zatanna walked toward them and looked at Lobo.

"Aren't you supposed to be on the Watchtower?" she asked.

"Question is covering for me," he said.

She pulled out a comm device and placed it in her ear.

"Batman we have a situation in Gotham. Yes we're in Gotham... Jesus we're not here on business we're shopping... Yes, yes, right, exactly," she said. "He's going to be here in less than five minutes."

_TBC. Reviews are always welcome!_


	3. Chapter 3

**I'd like to thank everyone who was nice enough to leave a review so far. Now that thats done, here's part 3!**

**Theamerican**

Diana heard the sound of someone screaming as she changed. They were under attack already?

Not even bothering to change into her armor she rushed out of the dressing room.

She ran into some guy with spiked blond hair.

"Oh I am so sorry!" Diana cried as she helped the man up. She looked around and was confused with the scene before her. Zatanna was talking to Lobo and Artemis was nearby barely clothed and being restrained by Donna. What had happened?

"Don't be I was in the way-whoa!" the blond man said while gawking at the dress Diana was wearing.

Diana looked down. The dress was showing an ample amount of cleavage and leg.

At that moment Zatanna had turned around after talking to someone on her commlink and caught sight of Diana's dress. Her mouth hung open. Lobo had noticed the dress she was wearing too.

"Damn!' Lobo remarked.

"Don't you dare ogle Diana, you pig!" Artemis shouted.

"I'll look where I wanna look!" Lobo shouted back.

Diana blushing went back to hide in the dressing room. Why were the fates so cruel to her? Zatanna ran up to her dressing room.

"Di?" Zatanna called from the other side of the curtain. "I just got to say before you make any rash decisions, that dress is the one you should get. But I would change back to your uniform, Bruce is coming."

Zatanna then quickly backed away from the dressing room before running into the blond hair guy that had landed in her lap earlier.

"Oh hey," she said "Sorry".

The man grinned sheepishly. Zatanna noticed he had dimples which made him even cuter.

"Hey," he said. "We got to stop meeting like this..."

Zatanna laughed. That caused the man in front of her to beam.

Mike was amazed. Lobo's plan had worked. Well not the way they originally plan but it was working. She was gettign along with him.

"Uh, I'm Mike," he said offering his hand.

**Grendle1853**

Everyone was silent, which was to be expected. One thing thats known to every hero of note on Earth, when in Gotham be on your best behavior. Now Batman was standing between the two magically ensnared trouble makers, and he did not look happy. He walks over to stand in front of the front man for Space Kiss and tells Zatanna, "Lets start with him."

"Esaeler Obol," Zatanna recites, and Lobo drops to his feet.

"What happened," Batman ask him.

"Look Guno dude, the Main Man doesn't have to put up with any of your *CLANK!*" Out of nowhere Batman produces an Nth metal mace and brings it down smartly on the bounty hunter's head. Lobo sways back and forth for a second before collapsing to the ground and groaning in unconsciousness.

Batman simply turns around, walks over to where Artemis hangs and says, "And now her."

"Esaeler Simetra," Zatanna says allowing the Amazon warrior to drop to her feet.

She is about to give Batman a piece of her mind before she glances over and sees Diana, Donna, and Zatanna all shaking their heads. "This perverted man ripped off my top and I decided to violently make him pay," she answers instead.

He just glares at her for a moment before asking, "He just reached out and ripped your top off?"

"In truth he tripped forward, reached out to break his fall, and destroyed by garment that way," Artemis explains, still feeling completely confidant and right in her actions.

A moment passes as the three heroines watching all do a variety of the face palm. "You decided it was perfectly acceptable to cause mayhem and havoc in my city, all because of a simple accident?" Batman asks her.

"I don't care who's city I happen to be standing in, or if its an 'accident', when a filthy man *CLANK!*" Batman silences the Amazon the same way he did the alien and watches her drop unconscious to the floor.

He then walks over to Donna and Zatanna and says, "Please get them out of my city."

"No problem," Donna says before walking over to collect her sister.

"Oh one second," Zatanna tells him before walking over to Max. "Here's my phone number, call me some time."

"Sure," Max says, excited.

"B'wanna Beast, what are you doing here?" Batman asks.

Zatanna turns back to Max and says, "I thought you looked familiar. Don't forget to call," before going over to collect Lobo, leaving the wild man grinning and blushing.

"Nice mace," Diana says, walking up next to Bruce. "Where did you get it?"

"From Shayera, for my birthday," he answers.

"Nice. What did I get you for that birthday?" she asks.

"An original copy of the Iliad," he answers.

"Looks like I can do better," she says smiling. Then she turns around and begins walking away, making sure he sees a bag from the clothing store and one from Victoria's Secret in her hand as she does. "See you on Friday," she calls coyly over her shoulder.

Batman just gives a half grin as he watches the Princess's beautiful backside sway back and forth as she walks away. "You can count on it Diana."

**Lordfrieza**

(Blüdhaven - Pygmalion's Photography Studio - three hours after the incident at Andre's)

'Tea looked at the throng of customers and cursed silently. It wasn't that she wasn't happy about her business doing well, but she was still pissed at Dick. How could he have said the things he did or even put up a Personal on the Justice League Dating site? She knew that there had to be a reason behind it, but all she could really think of was that he might actually be hung up on her history. He never really seemed to mind before, but maybe he really didn't see her as a person. It could be like what Kara had said that one time. She was a copy and nothing else. She shook her head and looked at the set of photos she had just taken. The family was happy looking, and that only made her feel worse.

"Elisa, I'm going to knock off early. I'm not feeling too well. Will you be all right to close shop by yourself?" 'Tea asked.

"Sure thing boss. Say, Goliath and I are going to see the new remake of Scarface and we wanted to know if you and Dick wanted to come along?" Elisa asked.

"I don't know... maybe. I'll let you know on Facebook later," 'Tea said as she walked out toward her car.

She stopped and looked at the blue Honda in front of her. Dick had helped her pick it out, but she had been determined to pay for it herself. The money CADMUS had paid her, even though she was their property, had helped in setting up her business, getting the car, and even allowing her to get a new wardrobe. The last eight months her new business had flourished, and everything seemed like it was going be perfect. Still this morning she opened her email to find that... She growled at the memory of seeing the personal add. She really, really needed to vent some frustration right now.

"Hey Lady, your purse or your life," someone said as they put a gun to her back.

R_emember to not act any stronger than a normal human, and thank you Mr. idiot mugger,_ she thought as she quickly kicked her leg up catching her would be mugger in the balls and causing him to drop his gun. She then turned and hit him in the stomach, and kicked his kneecap effectively breaking it.

"Shit woman all I wanted was your fucking purse!" he screamed.

She turned around and saw the Bat looking at her.

**Theamerican**

Superman sighed and flew over to the Monitor Womb. Why did they need so many javelins when they had teleporters? Well now it was his turn to do Monitor Duty.

Superman entered the Monitor Womb, not noticing how radically different it had changed. What he saw caused his jaw to drop.

Virtually every monitor screen had been taken off. Wires were everywhere. Discarded circuit boards were littering the floor. It was a miracle the Watchtower was still functioning.

And at the center of it was the Question.

He had a screwdriver in one hand and a drill in another.

"I know you are spying on me! Where are you?" the Question demanded angrily while examining a set of wires suspiciously.

Superman rushed up and grabbed the tools out of the Question's hand.

"Vic what are you doing?"

"Don't say my name! They could be watching!"

"Oh for Pete's sake! Enough with the paranoia! You and Batman need to get over it! What are you doing Q? Where's Lobo?"

Question looked around.

"He came to me and said there was an anonymous tip that the Illuminati had infiltrated all the networks in the Monitor Womb. I told him to let you know while I try to find it…"

"Wait he said an anonymous tip?"

"Yeah."

"And you didn't bother to check it out?"

"There was no time!" Question yelled. "They could have taken over the entire Watchtower!"

Superman sighed.

"You didn't find it suspicious at all? That it could be a hoax?"

"No. It makes sense. For the past few days, no one seems to hear from the Watchtower for six hours every day, even when disasters are going on. At first I thought the Metro Tower was just catching the news first. But six hours every day not hearing from the Monitor Womb up here? That is too coincidental."

Superman paused. Six hours was the length of the Monitor Duty shifts he shared with Maxima, Steel, and Lobo. When was Lobo's last shift?

"And did one of these mysterious six hour black outs happened yesterday from 9 to 3, Midwest time?"

Question paused.

"As a matter of fact yes."

Superman groaned. Only Lobo would be that dense to not realize he was supposed to call people about disasters when he was on Monitor Duty.

"Batman?" Superman said on his commlink. "We need to have a talk about Lobo and his monitor duty habits. In fact I think it was a mistake giving him that responsibility."

"What did he do?" Batman asked alarmed. "I just had to knock him out for groping Artemis."

"What?" Superman asked puzzled.

"Long story. What's going on, at the Watchtower? What did Lobo do?"

"Trust me, you don't want to know. I think we should just give him cafeteria duty. Or kick him out of the League."

"We tried that before," Batman pointed out. "He keeps coming back. How does he get by the security?"

Superman sighed. He almost wished Darkseid had started another invasion right now.

(Elsewhere)

Galatea stood on a roof, staring at the Dark Knight. She wasn't intimidated by him at all and she was making sure he knew.

They had decided it would be better to meet on a roof.

"What is it this time Batman? Afraid I'm leading a militant cell of Ultimen that is going to infiltrate Gotham, or do you think I'm now working for a different government to spy on you and the Justice League?"

"Actually neither right now," Batman said coldly.

That caused Galatea to raise an eyebrow. Batman wasn't eying her suspiciously like he usually did and he wasn't visiting her to interrogate her. The man was so distrusting sometimes.

"Then what?"

"I want to talk about Dick," he said.

Galatea's eyes lit up in surprise.

"I heard you two had a fight…"

"It's none of your business…" Galatea responded.

"It is my business because if he's distracted, he doesn't function properly…"

"Oh is that how you see me? I'm just some big breasted bimbo who's distracting your protégé? Well here's the real deal Batman, I actually care for him!"

Batman sighed. This was not going as well as he thought it would.

"No I actually do care…"

"Well you do a lousy job!" she remarked.

Batman was losing his patience.

"Look. I have seen Dick grow up my whole life! I have seen him make mistakes all the time, especially with women! For once I decided to step in and help him fix the messes with the women in his life. I should have stepped in when he slept with Barbara while engaged to Starfire…"

"Wait, he slept with Barbara?" Galatea asked surprised. "He told me they dated but never had sex!"

Batman froze. Uh oh.

Galatea looked hurt by that news. Tears were streaming down her face.

"That was in the past…"

But his words were lost on her. Galatea just flew away angrily.

Batman was insulting himself.

This is why he should never interfere with people's personal lives. Dick probably was never going to forgive him.

Thinking this couldn't get any worse his commlink buzzed.

"Batman?" Superman said on the other line. "We need to have a talk about Lobo and his monitor duty habits. In fact I think it was a mistake giving him that responsibility."

Batman groaned. What did Lobo do now? The past week he seemed to be the cause of virtually almost every disaster. He was doing more damage than the Legion of Doom ever did.

"What did he do?" Batman asked alarmed. "I just had to knock him out for groping Artemis."

"What?" Superman asked on the other link. Batman closed his eyes.

"Long story. What's going on, at the Watchtower? What did Lobo do?"

"Trust me, you don't want to know. I think we should just give him cafeteria duty. Or kick him out of the League."

"We tried that before," Batman pointed out. "He keeps coming back. How does he get by the security?"

Superman had hung up and Batman just groaned. Lobo said he had the Question covering him, but no one bothered to back up his claim. He should have gotten Lobo to give his word, for some reason the idiot never broke that. Batman was already angry at how badly his conversation with Galatea went. Now he was trying to think of a way to punish Lobo in the most sadistic way he could think of...

**Lordfrieza**

Galatea sat in bell tower of the old church. She, like most of Gotham, knew that the church was a monument, but what most of Gotham didn't know was the secret it held for her. This church was the first place she and Dick had kissed. She had followed, do to interest more than anything, after he had stopped the reemergence of Metabrawl. Roulette had bought her directly from Strikers and forced her to fight day after day. The fighting wasn't hard, but it was knowing that to everyone there she was nothing more than a thing. Dick had shut down the brawl and she half expected him to return her to prison, but instead he told her that Roulette had bought her freedom. Whatever she did in the past it was in the past.

The next few months she followed him, silently helping him when someone would attempt to get a drop on him, and finally he revealed that he knew she was there. He revealed it in the bell tower of this old church. The interest on her part had turned into attraction and admiration. They talked and then they kissed. It was a true first for her. It wasn't that kissing was a first, after all she had infiltrated several hotspots based on her looks. Some of those places required her to pretend to be interested in some bozo who didn't know how to treat a lady, and she would kiss them. The action was almost always cold, mechanical, and simply part of the job, but Dick's kiss was different. There had been a warmth in it. It was like discovering a hidden part of yourself and falling in love with it.

The tears she had been crying when she left Batman still streamed down her face, but what she felt was a mix of anger and betrayal. Dick had slept with Barbara. The fact that it must have been ages ago didn't matter. She would have understood, and she would have forgiven him. It wasn't like she was unstained, but the one thing she had never done was lie.

"Nice place," came a familiar voice.

"What are _you_ doing here?" 'Tea asked.

"We have a psychic bond. I see, hear, and basically know everything you do. I've got to say that being with Dick has been good for you. You've grown as a person," Kara said as she neared her _sister_.

"Person... I thought that I was an experiment. Something grown out of a test tube," Galatea spat the words.

"'Tea I didn't come here to fight. What I said before was wrong. In my defense I was trying to stop you from killing everyone on the Watchtower," Kara replied.

"If you're here then you know everything?" 'Tea asked.

"Right down to what Batman told you. Look, Dick most likely didn't think to tell you about Babs. To him it was ancient history, and not something worth mentioning," Kara said.

"What about the personal ad on the dating site?!" 'Tea exclaimed the question.

"Look, has Dick done, really done anything to hurt you?" Kara asked.

"No..."

"Okay, did he ever come home smelling like another woman?"

"no..."

"Has he ever called you another woman's name?"

"No... I'm over reacting aren't I?"

"Yes, but that's because you're in love. I'm not saying to just forgive him. Let him make it up to you, but don't do anything rash."

Kara smiled at her _sister_ and then took off.

(Clark Kent's Apartment)

It was a nice change of pace to actually be in his apartment instead of at the fortress of solitude with Lois. It was also different to have prepared a perfect romantic evening. Roses, candlelit dinner, bottle of her favorite wine, soft music, and a comm turned off. Everything that he could think of to make the night perfect. He looked up when Lois walked in. instead of her normal work attire she wore a long black evening gown which was v cut almost to her navel. His mouth hung open and he watched her grin.

**Theamerican**

Batman stared at the two culprits in front of him. Lobo and Artemis were sitting in two chairs trying to sit as far away as possible.

Mister Terrific stood right beside Batman, glaring mainly at Lobo.

Batman just glared at both of them before he finally spoke. He was already mad about dropping the ball in the conversation he had with Galatea.

"I think I speak for all of us when I ask, what is wrong with you two?"

"There is nothing wrong with me Batman," Artemis said with disdain.

"You attempted to throttle a perfume lady and threaten to tear Lobo's genitals with a clothes rack in public!" Mister Terrific shouted.

"Because that pig there started it!" she called accusatorily at Lobo.

"I tripped!" Lobo complained.

"You are nowhere innocent in all this Lobo! Why the hell you weren't at Monitor Duty?" Mister Terrific said glaring at the Czarnian.

"Hey, I got Question to cover for me, I didn't do anythin' wrong!"

Batman increased his glare.

"You told him the Illuminati had infiltrated the Monitor Womb! He tore apart every computer and monitor! It took Mister Terrific four hours to put everything back together…"

"Three hours," Mister Terrific muttered.

"What?" Batman said glaring at Mister Terrific for interrupting him.

Mister Terrific looked a little nervous, "Well hey I have a genius reputation to hold…"

Batman stiffened as he took a deep breath.

"Regardless how much time it took, it is time still wasted but that is not even the worst of your problems."

Artemis smirked, "Tell me about it."

Batman ignored her.

"You have been ditching your cafeteria duties and have been neglecting to alert anyone of disasters when you are on Monitor Duty."

"Hey the job says 'monitor'! And that's what I was doin'! Watchin' the monitors!"

Batman stood up.

"If it was up to me I would kick both of you out! You are unhinged, sadistic, violent sociopaths!"

"Thanks!" Lobo beamed.

"What's wrong with that?" Artemis asked.

Batman and Mister Terrific looked at each other. These two were legitimately insane.

"You leave me no choice because I know putting you on chores or kicking you out will have no effect on you."

Lobo grinned.

"That means ya can't punish us!"

Batman smiled. That caused Mister Terrific to look alarmed. Batman never smiled.

"Try me," Batman threatened.

00000

Lois licked her lips.

"I was thinking what your profile said and it was right," Lois said seductively and slowly. "Being Superman can be very, very lonely."

Clark blushed.

"So I decided I should provide some company," Lois said shifting in her seat and making sure he had a perfect view of her v-line.

Clark felt like he had been hit with kryptonite. He had almost dropped the wine bottle he was about to pour for Lois.

He could barely stand at the sight before him. Thank God he managed to get Diana to cover Metropolis for him. No disasters were going to ruin this for him.

00000

"I have taken the liberty of depriving you of what you love most," Batman said wickedly. "Artemis, your sword has been taken back to Thermyscara…"

"What?" Artemis shrieked and jumped out of her chair. Mister Terrific flinched a little but Batman remained calm. Lobo was grinning at the sight before him. He liked it when she was angry.

"And Lobo, Superman has taken the liberty of hiding your bike…"

"Ya can't take the Hog!" Lobo shouted angrily. He looked wild at that revelation, like someone had deprived his heart.

"I can and already did."

Lobo glared, "I'm calling yar bluff!"

Lobo whistled. Nothing happened. He whistled again.

Batman just grinned wickedly.

"I know your bike responds to whistling, but only if you are close to it. Your bike is back on earth and hidden."

Lobo just looked like he was about to throw a fit.

"Oh and that's not all," said Batman. "You will both be responsible for cleaning up the training room for two months. And from what I understand, we got a rugby club forming up soon so that will include not only picking up broken droids and equipment but wiping up the sweat, blood, tears..."

Lobo stormed out angrily.

Artemis followed exited in similar fashion.

Mister Terrific finally let a breath out.

"That went better than I thought…" he remarked. "Who did you give the sword to?"

"Donna," Batman explained. "She had to visit Thermyscara anyways."

"And where did Superman hide the bike?"

"I put it in Clark's apartment."

Mister Terrific nodded before pausing.

"Wait, you said Superman took it…"

"Well I lied. If I said I took it and hid it, Lobo would probably try to come to the batcave."

"But what about Clark's apartment?"

"Lobo has no idea about Superman's secret identity. Besides, he's Superman. I attached a note on it explaining for him to take it to the Fortress of Solitude. It will take him five minutes."

"Why couldn't you take it to the Fortress?"

"I can't lift the key," Batman remarked.

0000

The half eaten dinner had lied discarded and forgotten. Clark and Lois were in his bedroom. Lois was on the bed waiting for him. They were doing a little foreplay.

"I always wanted to see what you had under that big 'S' Smallville," Lois said in sultry voice.

Superman grinned as he began to unbutton his shirt.

Lois let out a wolf whistle.

Immediately chaos had ensued. Some thrashing sound came from Clark's guest room in his apartment.

All of a sudden a flying motorcycle with a skull on it broke through the door to his guest room and headed toward the bed that Lois was on.

**Grendle1853**

Galatea had flown back home and was pacing the floors trying to figure out what she would say to Dick. On the one hand he hadn't cheated on her (as far as she knew), on the other hand he thought it was a good idea to set up a profile on a dating site, where he said some less than good things about her (sort of). So while she knew she was over reacting before, he still isn't getting out of this without catching some hell. As she was thinking that 'Tea heard a knock at the door. Happy for the distraction the Kryptonian glided over and opened it only to look surprised at what she finds. Standing in front of her is none other than Bruce Wayne.

"I'm doing this right this time," he tells her.

'Tea raises an eyebrow at that. While part of her wants to tell the Batman to go to hell for nothing less than the pure rebellious thrill of it, the fact that he is essentially the father of her significant other gave her pause, so instead she just stepped aside and wordlessly invited him in.

Bruce walks in till he reaches her living room then turn around and faces her. "So did you bring Kryptonite with you?" she asks sardonically.

"I'm trusting not stupid," he answers.

She shrugs. "Whatever, just say what you came to say."

"Dick did not make that profile, Barbra did it as a prank," he tells her.

Galatea literally face palms at that. "Urg! I've been putting us through a personal hell over a fucking joke?!" she groans.

"Sorry," Bruce tells her.

"He's still not off the hook for lying to me about him and Barbra," she points out.

"Are you proud of everything you've done in your past?" Bruce asks.

That comment strikes her. "I guess you're right about that," she says. Then 'Tea looks over at him and says, "You know you're not as bad as I thought."

"Like wise," he answers before turning and walking towards the door.

"Is it true your going on a date with Wonder Woman this weekend?" she asks.

He stops with his hand on the door knob. "Yes," he answers cautiously.

"Good luck," she tells him.

"Thanks," Bruce answers before leaving.

"You're gonna need it," she says smiling.

**MTVCCVC**

Artemis was furious. How dare that arrogant man take her sword and send it to Themyscira?  
She wanted to rush off and get it back immediately, but she knew that if it was back on the Island, either Diana or Donna had to take it there and if that was the case, they had probably informed the Queen of the incident and she wouldn't be able to take her sword back. Not surprisingly, the dawning of this revelation did not calm her disposition at all.

She had to let go of some of the frustration so she decided to visit the training room.  
Upon entering the room, she noticed only one other person inside. It was a man dressed in gold mail, training with a sword. She didn't pay him any attention since her primary goal was to look for any kind of training aid that would imitate a sword.

It wasn't all too hard to find part of a wall that had bokken and wasters on it. Wooden swords weren't exactly to her liking, but anything would do in her current situation. She took a longsword and went to take swings at the nearby practice dummy.

For 15 minutes she was bashing and basing the dummy, yelling with every 3rd swing, creating a lot of noise but it helped her calm down some. Eventually she noticed that the man she ignored when she entered the room was watching her. what confused her was that he wasn't staring at her behind or her breast, but he was following her sword. She felt like she was being silently criticized, so she addressed the man with her usual level of restraint. "Something you want to say?"

The man looked like he was thinking about it for a few moments, but eventually he answered: "I apologize for staring. I was appraising your swordsmanship."

"Is that so?",Artemis replied, somewhat mockingly. "And how would you appraise it?"

Once more, Shining Knight takes a moment to think about what to say before replying, "Your blows have much strength behind them and are accurate, but you lack finesse and control."

"What?" Accepting criticism well was never one of Artemis' strengths. "Care to test that?" Artemis asked, not hiding her displeasure.

"What do you suggest?" Shining Knight asked.

"A duel, with these practice swords," Artemis clarified.

"Very well," Shining Knight replied and went to take one of the wasters.

They stood across one another in the middle of an imaginary ring and greeted each other.  
"I am Artemis of the Amazons," the warrior woman greeted the knight and assumed her battle stance.  
"I am Sir Justin of Camelot," the knight greeted his opponent and assumed his battle stance.

As soon as he did so, the Amazon charged him with a series of powerful blows. Blocking them proved to be difficult, but soon enough he regained his stance and focus so he could parry the blows rather then block them. He had to admit that the warrior knew what her strength was with the longer reach of her longsword. This meant that he had to enter her reach in order to do anything, but with her accurate and powerful swings, he couldn't find an opening. This forced him to use her lack of finesse and control against her. While trading swings and blows, he was trying to find a way how to lure her into a trap. He had to create an opening in his own defense that she would want to exploit.

Artemis was quite satisfied with herself. She had kept this pompous man constantly on the defensive. She wasn't able to penetrate his defense, but he couldn't even come in close enough to be a threat to her. If she kept this up she'd tire him out soon enough and find an opening that she could exploit to end this duel. Still, she had to admit that this man was a good swordsman to last this long against her. But then she found the opening she was looking for.

Every time she took a top swing at his head, he would parry it to his right, leaving his left side completely exposed. All she had to do was follow the momentum of her sword into a spin so she could perform a side swing to his head and knock him down.

However, when she spun around she saw that her opponent had stepped into her range and blocked the attack with the broad side of his sword, supporting it with both hands, one on holding the hilt and the other pressing on the blade, at which point he swung his sword over his head, carrying her blade with it and throwing her off balance, completely exposing her to his counter attack. Shining Knight flipped his blade so that the broad side was facing Artemis' face and smacked her in the forehead and down to the ground.

He kicked her sword away from her hand and placed the tip of his blade to her throat. As soon as Artemis realized what happened he stepped back and assumed a greeting pose.

Artemis stood up, deservedly feeling she had been taken down a peg, took her sword and also assumed a greeting pose.

"It was an honor to duel with you, Artemis of the Amazons," Shining Knight applauds the Amazon warrior he'd bested.

"The honor is mine, Sir Justin of Camelot," Artemis replied, admitting to herself that she had been fairly bested.

**Lordfrieza**

(Metropolis - Clark's Apartment)

The mood set by the perfect, most romantic, and possibly most wonderful night had suddenly and completely changed. Where a moment ago Clark was undressing to join Lois in bed, and the two of them finally going to take their relationship to the next level, was suddenly stopped by a roaring space bike which was trying its hardest to get to Lois. Clark pushed against the bike hard until he saw a blinking red light and pushed on it. The moment he did the motorcycle fell to the ground and simply loped as if nothing had happened. He turned around to see Lois' face caught in surprise. He expected her to be upset, after all he was upset, but instead she began to snicker and then full out laugh at the situation.

He wondered for a moment if perhaps she had lost her mind, but then he realized how damned funny the situation was. He sat down on the side of the bed and Lois leaned against him.

"Up until just a few moments ago that was the best night of my life," she said.

"I wanted to do something for you, and i wanted to let you know that I really do love you," he said as he looked at her.

"Smallville, it's all right. We both are kind of at fault. It's part of the reason why I wore this dress. Actually Lucy helped me pick out the dress," Lois admitted.

"It caught my attention," Clark said leaning in for a kiss and suddenly the _hog_ revved up almost as if to indicate that it didn't like Clark getting that close to Lois.

"What are you going to do with that thing?" Lois asked.

Clark looked at the top of the space hog and saw the note left by Bruce. He rolled his eyes and then turned toward Lois.

"Feel like a short flight over to the Fortress of Solitude?" he asked.

"Why not," she said as she shrugged her shoulders.

A moment later Clark held both Lois and the space hog and flew toward the direction of the fortress.

(Same time - in Metropolis - Ace of Clubs Bar)

John Irons looked at the beer in front of him. Natasha had grown up, went to college and was in her third year of getting her bachelors in Engineering. The fact that she got an early start thanks to her amazing S.A.T. scores had only helped and now she was almost finished and just turning nineteen. To say he was proud of her would be an understatement, but it didn't make the house any less lonely. After all when Natasha's mother, his sister, died he practically raised her. She was his niece, and she did call him Uncle John, but he knew that he was more of a father to her than anything. He sighed and finished his beer.

"John, can I get you another one?" Bibbo asked

"Naw, thanks though," John said as he started to get up. It was about time to stop anyway. He didn't want to get piss drunk tonight, but he didn't mind getting a little buzzed. He looked to see a red head, with extremely long hair, dressed in what looked like a pink tee shirt and a pair of denim shorts.

He studied her a for a moment more and realized that it was Maxima. He slowly began to get up from his seat and leave when he bumped into someone and Maxima turned at the sound of his voice. She studied him for a moment and then walked over. He watched her carefully before she took a seat beside him and leaned in. He watched her nose work for several seconds and then a predatory smile crossed her face.

"Hello Steel," she said seductively.

"How?" he began to ask, but she cut him off with a kiss.

"Your suit is advanced, but it doesn't block the sent of your musk. It's quite unique," she said as she ordered them a set of drinks.

"What are you doing in Hob's Bay?" he asked trying to keep her from doing anything.

"I learned of this bar from the television. When Kal-El had supposedly died the bar owner had dawned a shirt, sweat pants, and red boxing trunks and did good works in Kal-El's name. I found the story enduring and believed that any person who would do such deserves the business of a Queen," she said.

They began to drink, and before long the two of them had put away quite a bit. At first John had drank with Maxima in an attempt to humor her, but it slowly turned into two friends drinking. The hours pasted and John woke up in his bed. He turned over and looked a nude Maxima laying beside him. He quickly looked down at himself and realized that he was also as naked as a bluejay.

"Mmmmmm... That was wonderful... Is this why men and women drink on this planet? I have to admit that I like the after effects," Maxima said as turned one her stomach, pushed herself up on her elbows, turned her head toward him, and smiled.

(Friday night - Wayne Manor - 7:45 pm)

Bruce checked the dining room he had selected and unlike the first time he had dated Vicky Vale it was far more personable. The dining room was a little more formal than the dining area that he normally shared with Alfred when he was a child, but it was also only designed to seat about six people. He looked at the position of the plates and realized that Alfred had forgone normal tradition and instead had seated them close together. It didn't surprise him at all. It was no secret that Alfred wanted him to find some kind of happiness and the elderly butler seemed to know that Bruce could never find it on his own.

A knock at the door gained his attention and he walked toward the main greeting hall of the manor only to find that Alfred was already letting Diana in.

"Your Highness you look positively radiant tonight," Alfred said as he led Diana inside.

"Thank you Alfred. Bruce, it's nice to see you," Diana said as she looked into his eyes.

Every ounce of will power, mental training, and practice at controlling himself was barely keeping him from standing slack jawed. Still it didn't stop him from being stunned for several seconds.

**Theamerican**

The good thing about Friday night for Lobo was the planned Rugby event got postponed. Many of the people who had signed up were getting last minute dates that Friday night. That meant he wouldn't have to clean up as big of a mess.

Unfortunately, the training room could get quite messy still. Hawkgirl loved to destroy all the droids.

With a grunt and a few swears under his breath he began to sweep up the remains. Not noticing a camera following him.

00000

Mister Terrific was on monitor duty. After the incident with the Question they decided to go back to the old ways. Luckily for Superman, Maxima, and Steel were free from their punishment earlier than the original sentencing for good behavior. But Lobo, his punishment was just beginning.

Mister Terrific watched Lobo on the monitors that he had to reinstall the other day. He was surprised how Lobo was on his best behavior and actually doing his job.

However Mister Terrific was still pissed how he spent three, not four, hours of his life fixing the Monitor Womb. Time for payback.

Mister Terrific hit a switch.

00000

Lobo was in the middle of mopping a mat when he heard a song on the loudspeakers. It was a sad, slow song. The kind of song he hated.

"_All…by….myself…"_

"Oh very funny!" Lobo shouted to the camera.

However the song kept playing much to Lobo's annoyance.

He was fuming mad. He missed his bike.

Lobo finally finished and gave the finger to the camera.

"Bastiche," he muttered as he stormed out. He needed a drink.

Making his way to the cafeteria, Lobo walked to the secret room.

For once his makeshift bar was standing. He then grabbed a secret panel from the wall and pulled his stash of liquor out. He needed a drink.

He was about to down his third beer when someone rushed in.

"Oh thank God you're here!" B'wanna Beast, who was in civilian clothes, cried.

"Hey…" Lobo said. Crap what was his name? "Max…?"

"Mike!"

"Yeah! Mike Maxwell! Sorry, not use to seein' ya without yar cloth!"

"Dude I need your help again!"

"What?"

"It's Zatanna! We our going dancing next week!"

"What?"

Mike threw his hands up in frustration.

"Look whatever you planned it somehow got me her number! We dated twice already and I really like her! Now she wants to go to some club at New York City!"

"Well why come to me?"

"I don't know anything about clubbing or dancing! I thought you helped me once maybe you could….oh forget it!"

Mike made to walk out.

"Whoa hold on kiddo! Lobo can help ya out! I go to clubs all the time!"

"You do?"

"Ya and the first rule of clubbin', ya need a gun!"

"A gun?"

"So ya can frag any geeks who are dancin' with ya girl!"

"I'm not sure how that works!"

"Oh yar one of those people," Lobo remarked giving Mike a patronizing look. "Alright fine will think of somethin'! Don't worry dweeb, the Main Man's got yar back again! We'll work on it next week!"

Mike seemed to calm down.

"Thanks Lobo!"

"Glad to help out, now get out of here kid!" Lobo said, forcibly pushing him out of the room.

Lobo drank a few more beers before deciding it was time to close shop. However he decided to take a peek outside to make sure not many people were around. He liked the idea of his bar being secret now. It allowed him to ditch his duties.

Lobo peeked through the crack. There was only two people in the cafeteria, and they were talking. He could sneak by unnoticed. It was then Lobo realized one of those two people was Artemis.

_What the hell was she doing with that loser? And why wasn't she angry?_

Lobo watched as Artemis got up.

"We shall go over on the switch hand technique tomorrow, my lady," Shining Knight, ever the man of chivalry said politely.

"I look forward to it," she said.

Was she slightly smiling? Lobo was fuming mad.

However Artemis did not exit the same way as Shining Knight and instead was coming toward Lobo.

"Aw frag she's comin' here!" Lobo whispered. Backing away from the door he leaned back against the wall to act natural.

Artemis walked in and noticed Lobo was here.

"You're here I see," Artemis remarked. "I thought I smelled your stench."

"Good job helpin' me out today!" Lobo complained. "Ya were supposed to clean it with me!"

Artemis grinned.

"I got a pass from Batman. I told him I had an important training exercise and he excused it."

Lobo glared.

Artemis noticed the icebox of beers.

"Toss me one," she commanded.

"Ya got cash?"

Artemis grinned.

"I know you want to keep this secret now. I saw how you sneaked by earlier. So either you toss me some alcohol, or I will let Batman in on your secret stash."

Lobo cursed and grabbed her one.

Artemis had a gloating look on her face. Lobo was feeling vengeful.

"What's up with ya and Knight Man?"

"His name is Sir Justin, and it's not any of your business. He has been showing me new sword fighting techniques. Unlike you, he actually has respect for the art of fighting and is not just some ugly brute."

"Hey if he's showin' ya his sword, I'll show ya mine!" Lobo said and made a motion to take off his pants.

Artemis finally lost her cool and threw Lobo against the bar, breaking it from the umpteenth time.

"I hate you!" she muttered before storming out. Hopefulyl Sir Justin hadn't gone to bed yet and they could work on some more sword techniques. Otherwise she was going to break something.

Lobo was grinning. Shining Knight may have been the one to calm her down, but the Main Man was the one who light her fire.

000000  
The man nervously knocked on the door.

"Go away, I'm busy!" cackled a high pitch voice.

"Uh boss, you need to see this," the man said nervously.

"Fine," the high pitch voice whined like a little kid.

The man backed away when all of a sudden the door opened to reveal a grinning man in a purple suit.

"This better be important, I was watching the funniest part of the movie. They were about to shoot Old Yeller!"

The man led his boss to a computer.

"Youtube, such a funny word," the Joker mused before suddenly changing his mood to impatience. "What's the point?"

The man pointed to a video titled "Super Hero Brawl".

The Joker watched as a big man accidentally took the top off of a large woman. All of a sudden the big man and woman began to fight.

"Oh aren't they precious," the Joker said before something clicked in his head. "I know that girl! She's one of the newest Amazons to join the Justice League. What's her name? Alpha? Abrca Cadbra?"

"Artemis," gulped another one of the Joker's goons.

"That's what I said!" the Joker shouted angrily. "I still don't see why this worth my time."

The video then fast forward to Batman appearing and knocking out both the big man and Artemis with a mace.

"Again with the toys," the Joker groaned. "It's not fair. How come he never goes broke but I do?"

The Joker then watched as a woman with raven black hair walked past Batman carrying two shopping bags. She was looking at Batman flirtatiously and Batman was smiling slightly.

The Joker was fuming mad.

"How does that broad get him to smile?!" he shouted. "I have been trying to do that for twenty years and all she does is have to shake her hips and whip her hair back and forth?"

"Uh boss, don't you know who that is? That's Wonder Woman…"

"I don't care….what?"

"It's Wonder Woman boss," another man chimed in. It was even the tabloids. The internet has rumors they are a couple."

The Joker paused.

"I think we might have our next joke boys," the Joker said, his eyes gleaming with manic delight.

**Lordfrieza**

(Gotham - Jolly Jack Warehouse)

The sound behind the locked doors of the old Manager's office caused most of the hired muscle to stay far away from whatever it was that Joker was doing. There would be maniacal laughter one second and then next there would a disgusted grunt and the sound of something flying across the room. Finally the guys looked at each other and began to draw straws. Someone had to see what Joker wanted them to do, and no one wanted to go in and ask. After a few minutes Tommy 'Two Tone' Jones looked at the shortest straw and cursed his luck. He moved toward the door and knocked.

"Boss... Boss the boys and I want to know what it is we're doing..." Tommy said.

For a moment it looked like there wasn't going to be any repercussions. Tommy breathed a sigh of relief before the door opened and the Joker stood before him with a twisted smile.

"I have an idea of something you can do, but first Tommy, it is Tommy isn't it? Of course it is! Tommy you look stressed. Why don't you take a moment, relax, and tell me how you feel. Sound all right to you?" Joker asked.

"Ummmm Sure boss," Tommy said.

"Good!" Joker exclaimed as he patted Tommy on the back. The two of them walked a few few before Joker pushed him into a chair.

"You know Tommy I've been trying to get Batman for years. I've always wanted to be the one to drive him over the edge, but that real punch line has always eluded me. I tried to prove that everyman could go insane by shooting Gordon's daughter and taking those Risky and Racy pictures of her, but the old man wouldn't crack. Then of course I tried to make all of Gotham smile with my Joker Fish, but that fizzled out. It just kept its distance until I saw him with Wonderbabe. She had him practically dancing like a school boy, and I know I can get him through her. If he nearly lost it with the Cat almost buying the farm then Imagine what he'll be like if I do in the Princess! She'll have a smile, much like yours and it will last a life time. By the way that's a lifetime guarantee," Joker said as he walked away from Tommy who was sitting in the chair with a gruesome grin on his face.

(Gotham - The Narrows)

Dick stood on top of Gotham Green's. He stopped two rapes, three muggins, and two attempted murders all within two blocks of this apartment building. It wasn't a wonder why everyone called the Greens a prison instead of a home. He knew that the people inside of the Apartment complex weren't all bad. The truth was many of them had families they where attempting to provide for. It had been in this very Apartment building he had witnessed Bruce beat a thug in front of his daughter and he left. The kid had no idea why her daddy was being beaten up by Batman. He heard something behind and turned to see a blond woman in a white body suit with a large hole revealing some cleavage. He internally groaned knowing that 'Tea was coming to confront him.

"'Tea I really didn..." he began to say before she stopped him with a deep and pleasurable kiss.

His eyes widened for a moment before he pulled her next to him and held her close as the kiss deepened. A moment later they broke the kiss and he smiled as he held her.

"Not that I'm complaining, but what brought that on?" he asked.

"I talked to Kara and Bruce. Believe me Bruce didn't help your case at first. If it hadn't of been for Kara I would have most likely tracked you down and kicked your ass. She helped quite a bit. Of course I was still going to give you quite a bit of hell when you got home, but Bruce came by and talked to me again. This time he brought his A game... Look I know that we both have things in our past we're not proud of. I've done things... Things that I haven't told anyone else but you. Kara knows, but that's because she can see it. No one else knows, really knows except for you. Dick, I want you to know that you can do the same with me. I won't break," she said.

"What did Bruce tell you exactly?" he asked her.

"Your almost marriage and how you dropped off your invitation to Barbara," she said.

Dick inwardly groaned again. That was a night he really didn't want to think about. It had hurt Babs... Hell with hurt it almost broke her, and it did break her heart. Their friendship nearly ended right there, and he wouldn't have blamed her for it a bit. Of course he didn't say anything to 'Tea, but that was because he was trying to forget it and move on.

"I'm sorry you heard from him and not me... But I didn't tell you about it because of how ashamed I was of it," he said.

"Trust me you're forgiven, well almost... I expect you to do things tonight which is going to make my toes curl... So... What's been going on?" she asked.

"It's quiet. With Two Face locked up I've only been dealing with the standard things," he said.

"Well, how about a little help? I'm all dressed up with no place to go," she said.

"Why not," he said

(Themyscira - Palace - Donna's chambers)

The gentle smell of lilac, lotus blossoms, and honeysuckle drifted through the room. While it shouldn't have surprised her Donna was actually surprised and touched that her mother kept her room perfumed with the flowers she loved as a girl. She walked out of the room and looked toward the horizon. It was getting late, and she really did need to get back to the states pretty soon. Actually she needed to get back to the Embassy, and see how well Diana's date had gone. She began to walk until she looked down at the ground and saw hundreds of baby blue eyes. The small flowers had been one of Bobby's favorite. The thought of her son made her stop and close her eyes. Bobby was gone and not coming back. She looked toward the panel which lead down to Hades' domain, but fought the urge to travel down there. It wouldn't be right to disturb Bobby's eternal rest, and besides she knew that he was bound to the afterlife now. He couldn't leave and she couldn't stay with him. She turned when she heard soft footfalls and looked into the blue eyes of her mother.

"What troubles you daughter?" Hippolyta asked.

"It's... It's nothing mother... I need to be heading back," she said as she started to life into the air, but her mother's hand on her leg stopped her.

"Donna wait a moment," Hippolyta asked.

Nodding Donna lowered herself back to the ground. She looked at her mother and couldn't hide the sadness that seemed to cloud her eyes. Hippolyta placed her hand on Donna's shoulder and pulled her into an embrace.

"My moon and stars, you know that you nor Diana can keep secrets from me. I pray when you feel ready that you shall be willing to talk to me," she said.

"I... I will mother," Donna said.

She came so close to unloading on her mother. To telling her how much she missed her son, and how she wished each night for the single chance to hold him again. Bobby had done something for her that she never expected. He had opened up the new world of being a mother. She had been going on since then, but it wasn't the same. Although she laughed, joked, and was genuinely happy the times she thought of Bobby she would feel the void she had in her life. She missed his innocent laughter, the way he smelled of peppermint after a bath, his hero worship of Superman, the way he smiled and waved to her, and him asking her to sing his special song. It was everything. She began to leave, but something stopped her again. It wasn't anything physical, but instead it was her tears. She turned toward Hippolyta and buried her face into her mother's shoulder.

Hippoltya held her daughter and hear her cry for her loss. After a few hours Donna sat down and told her mother everything. Hippolyta already knew about Bobby, Donna's marriage to Terry Long which ended badly, and she knew how much her daughter missed her son. It was a feeling that she shared with Donna because she missed her grandson. Finally after hours Donna looked up at her mother with clearer eyes.

"Nothing will replace him Donna, but I do promise you that you will find happiness again. I prayed that you and your sister would find here on Themyscira, but I have always believed that wouldn't be the case. You are both cut from the same cloth. The need to see the world is in the both of you. I do not hold relationships with men in much regard, but I respect what came out of yours. If it is the will of the gods then I am certain you will be blessed again," Hippolyta said.

Donna smiled at her mother and lifted back into the air. She honestly felt better after talking to her and headed back toward Washington. As she flew she began to think about Kyle. The Green Lantern and her had a few dates together. She wasn't interested in starting a family again, but perhaps it would be good see him again and let things develop naturally over time.

(Watchtower - Training Room six - two hours and twenty-five minutes after Artemis' run in with Lobo)

The duel once again ended with Sir Justin winning the match, but it was far closer this time than before. Artemis stood and looked at the knight. His lessons were not only helping her sword play it was also helping her to find a kindred spirit, or at least one who also enjoyed swords.

"My Lady, it confused me when thou asked for another sparring session. Whilst I do not mind in the least I can only assume something has troubled thou," he said.

Everything she had learned and had been ingrained in her screamed not to confide in him. That while he was worth befriending, worth admiring for his swordsmanship, and worth being treated like an equal he was not by any means an Amazon. He was a man, and men should not, could not be trusted. Still she did want to make an attempt at making a lasting friendship, and both Princess Diana and Princess Donna have said that nothing ventured nothing gained.

"The Neanderthal called Lobo... I explained that we were sword practicing and he took it that you was showing me part of your anatomy. He offered to do the same," Artemis said with a grimace.

"The nave is uneducated and has no social graces. Tis not correct to address a lady in such a manner," he said.

Artemis smiled and walked with Sir Justin talking about sword play, her experiences as an Amazon, and listening to him tell tales of his service to Arthur Pendragon and the kingdom of Camelot.

(Watchtower - Recreation Room)

Booster Gold looked to see Dr. Light playing a round of Dance Dance Revolution on the Xbox Kinex, and kicking the game's ass. He smiled and walked toward her.

"Hey, I replied to your dating profile, name's Booster Gold the single greatest hero to live," Booster said.

She ignored him and he studied her for a moment.

"Tell her Skeets," Booster said.

"It's true! Booster comes from the twenty-fifth century to ensure the safety of the past for his future!" Skeets exclaimed.

"Not interested," she said.

"How about if I beat your score on here?" he asked.

She stopped and looked at him. An appraising smile crossed her face and she stepped away.

"One round, and the floating computer stays out of it," she said.

_TBC. Reviews are always welcome!_


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks once more for the reviews (and patience) of everyone reading this. Here is part 4.**

**Grendle1853**

Her dress was a lot like Jessica Rabbit's, only instead of red and sparkly it was black and just a tad sheer. It's combination of backless and breast hugging neckline left him wondering if she was wearing some sort of magical illusion instead of cloth. It is also slit up one side, revealing that she's wearing a pair of fishnets. Her heels are black stiletto, but in truth his gaze doesn't linger on that long before he starts to slowly bringing it back up. He notices that she still has her bracelets on but has changed her earrings to simple diamond studs, and she is wearing her hair up to show off her flawless neck. By the time his eyes finally make it back to her beautiful face there is a knowing smirk on it and he realizes he hasn't said anything. Vainly he tries to force his blood to start flowing back towards his brain and manages to mutter, "Hello."

"Hello Bruce," she answers her grin not diminished at all.

"You look..." he stops there having no way to finish that sentence, as he is fairly certain that there is no word in the English language that could do the sight before him justice.

"How do I look Bruce?" Diana asks taking a step closer to him.  
He looks to left to see that Alfred has already left to get the food and his mind struggles once again to come up with something to say. Finally from a part of his mind he hears an angry voice command _Your Batman, act like it,_ and he says, "You look wonderful Princess," before stepping around and pulling out her chair for her.

Diana gracefully takes her seat and asks, "So what are we having?"

"I tried to ask Alfred what he would be serving, his only response was 'My best, Master Bruce'," he answers.

She smiles in anticipation and the two wait in a comfortable silence for a few minutes before she looks back over at him and asks, "What made you decide to invite me over here tonight?"

"When you called I realized that this is what you wanted, then I realized that I desperately wanted this as well," he answers.

She leans seductively close to him and rests her one hand on his thigh until she's very close to his face and asks, "How desperately?"

Before he can close the distance the dining room door opens and Alfred wheels in the food. Diana pulls away just slow enough so that he can feel her nails gently rake down the outside of his pants from his thigh to his knee.

Alfred wordlessly places a glass of red wine next to Diana then a glass of Ginger Ale next to Bruce before filling their plates, and silently disappearing again. "Alfred's rather quiet tonight," the princess says.

"I think he just wants to give us privacy," Bruce tells her. _He's also probably trying to give himself the least oppertunity to stare at you as possible,_ he thinks to himself, _he might be old but he's still a man._

Diana takes a second to just inhale the scent of the food on her plate before saying, "You are blessed," and then picking up a fork and digging in.

"Tonight I can't disagree," he answers looking straight at her.

In Zatanna's room her half of the women in the JLU are sitting together watching her crystal ball as it shows them possibly the most epic and anticipated date in superhero history. "He is so going to kill me if he finds out," Z says.

"Calm down, we all promised secrecy," Shayera tells her. "Besides you want to see this just as much as the rest of us."

"And we can cut it when something naughty happens," Fire says.

"When?" Donna asks.

"You don't wear a dress like that for a man if you expect to keep it on the whole night," the green haired woman answers.

Donna thinks on that a second and decides to leave, "Um...see you girls later."

"Did I say something wrong?" Fire asks.

"Shh," Barbra tells her.

The meal is finished quickly and Alfred appears out of nowhere to collect the plates. "Would you be interested in desert, your Highness?" Alfred asks the visiting royal.

Diana looks over at Bruce and says, "Yes. But I don't think we will be needing your services for the rest of the night Alfred."

"Very well, I shall put these in wash and retire for the evening. Good night," the elderly man tells them.

Both heroes say good night and then Bruce stands and helps Diana out of her seat. The two of them begin walking hand and hand through the halls of the Manor for a bit before Bruce asks, "What are you in the mood for now? We could listen to some music, watch something together, maybe take a walk across the grounds...?"

Diana thinks on this a second before saying, "Hmm. You know over the years I think I've seen almost every inch of your home, but there is one room that I haven't been to yet."

"Where would that be?" he asks with a grin on his face, already fairly certain he knows of where she speaks.

His Princess takes his hand and leads him upstairs and to the door of his own bedroom. Then she turns around and leans back on the door wall giving him the sexiest look imaginable. "Do you think its time I see whats in here?" she asks.

In answer Bruce reaches forward, takes her by the head, and pulls her into a passionate kiss. She wraps her arms around his neck and snakes her leg around his in order to deepen it, and he responds by moving his arms down her body until one holds her by the small of her back and the other grabs her magnificent ass. Eventually the both break the kiss for the very real need for oxygen, but Bruce wastes no type in moving his lips down and sucking on the Amazon's neck. Pleasure shoots through her body from his hands, lips, and just the contact of her body against his, but eventually Diana resumes enough control to pull herself back and glare hungrily into his eyes.

In answer to that he reaches over and opens the door, and his Princess quickly pulls him into the dark room and kicks the door shut behind him.

**LordF**

(Metropolis - 9:30 PM - Friday night)

To say he was surprised about waking up to Maxima would be a huge understatement, but John decided that maybe it wouldn't be that bad. He had convinced himself that perhaps being with Maxima wouldn't be so bad right up until they had walked into a Subway for lunch, much, much earlier. The employee greeted them and was extremely friendly. He looked to Maxima who looked at him with an odd look of bliss on her face, but then when she looked at the employee there was a hard threatening look. It was almost as if she was daring the woman to say anything or to try to get his attention. When they finally took a seat he watched as she began to eat her salad.

"John, it suits you, but I prefer to call you the name I first met you with," she said.

"I can't use that name when I'm out in public. I have to think about my niece and friends," he said, "So... what was the look toward the employee?"

"She attempted to catch your eye. We are bonded now. I carry your seed," she said simply.

The hours had rolled by and he found himself in bed, with Maxima. Both of their bodies were covered in a thin layer of sweat, and she snuggled close to him.

"What do you mean you carry my seed. I mean you can't be pregnant already," John said.

"Actually I know I am. The Almeracian people bond for life after our first mating. When we find someone with acceptable genetic structure our bodies take it in. Once that happens we become pregnant. It's a long process and I won't even show for one of your Earth years," she said.

"Won't show for a year... How long does it take you to have a kid?" he asked.

"Our gestation period from start to birth is normally two years. First our bodies naturally screen both of our D.N.A. and ensure that only the best traits are present in our offspring. That normally takes the entire first year. After that I begin to show. I suppose what I mean by that is that I begin to get weaker. For an entire year my strength adjusts itself so that our child may grow without worry," she said.

He looked at the ceiling and remembered what his dad had said about his mom when she was pregnant with him.

"I believe that our child should be raised in the Almeracian Empire. He or she will have to learn how to lead his or her people," Maxima said as she turned toward him.

"Wouldn't it be better for him or her to be raised on Earth? It would make him or her a bit more humble and more in touch with his or her people," John suggested.

"Why would our child want to feel connected? They will rule the empire, not live among the peasants," Maxima said.

(Blüdhaven - Dick and Galatea's Apartment)

Galatea lay gasping as she came down from the last orgasm. She had no idea what Dick had done in the past, but the man never, ever failed to satisfy her. She could feel his rigid tool slowly deflating inside of her, but she had no intention of crawling off of him. Instead she leaned forward and caught him in a deep kiss. She could taste his sweet flavor, the muskyness sex from how he began the night, and lastly she could taste the white wine he had shared with her before they went to bed. Finally she felt his hips shift and she groaned at suddenly feeling so empty. She broke the kiss and looked into his eyes.

"So... did I make your toes curl?" he asked.

"Mmmm... That and more," she purred.

"Good... 'Tea, I..." he began before she shook her head.

Slowly she began to move and instead of resting on top of him like she was doing she was laying beside him. His arm rested under her head and she looked lovingly into his eyes.

"Dick, it's all right," she said.

"No. No it isn't. 'Tea I didn't want this to get out of hand like it did. I mean yeah it was a prank that Barbara pulled, but I should have told you everything," he said.

"Dick, I understand why you didn't. It bothered me at first, but after I talked to Bruce, and after I thought about it I realized you didn't tell me because you were ashamed. That in itself means you are a good man," she said.

He smiled and leaned in for a kiss.

"Besides, it's not like you fucked Donna or anything," she said.

He stopped and looked at her. It was true that Donna and he had never had sex. There was a few times that they came close, but it just never really happened. He nodded and kissed her.

"So why did you pick Donna?" he asked.

"I know how good of friends you are with her. I trust you, I do, but so far I've learned that you were friends with Babs and well..." she said.

"Don't worry 'Tea. There isn't anyone else you've got to learn about," he said.

"Good... You know... I kind of like this make up sex. I don't really want to have the fights to have it though," she said.

(Gotham - Wayne Manor - Master bedroom - 10:00 pm)

Two piles of clothes lay at the foot of the bed. A trail from the doorway leads to them showing the progression to the bed itself. Slightly above on the top of the bed the sheets lay in a crumpled mess, but they are still moving, as if alive, by the occupants of the bed.

Bruce looks down at the Princess below him. It took everything inside of him. Every once of willpower he had to keep from crumpling into a jibbering mess like a teenager, but instead he mentally takes note of what he is doing to the raven haired beauty below him. His right arm has her left leg lifted and resting on his shoulder, and he is gently brushing the back of her knee, a ticklish spot he discovered. His right hand is resting on her hip allowing him to rub her clitoris. Keeping his mind on what he's doing, and how he's doing it not only allows him to keep from collapsing, but it also has allowed him to keep Diana in a state of bliss. He looks at her beautiful gaping smile, bouncing breasts and wonders exactly what he had done to come to this point.

Diana moans in pleasure and slowly discovers that her lover is attempting to kill her in the most delicious way possible. She tries to think outside of the blanket of pleasure she is under, but finds that she can't even think of her name let alone anything else. Still her Amazon nature refuses to allow her to simply submit. She reaches up and grabs Bruce drawing him into a deep kiss. He moans deeply before thrusting a few times and filling her with his pleasure. She lets out a satisfied moan and comes to another peek and slowly they both come down.

"Great Hera... Are you sure you are human?" she asks through gasps.

"I'm positive... Just very skilled in some ways," Bruce answers.

**Theamerican**

Lex Luthor sat in his office in the Legion's hideout. They had been lying low for awhile. A lot of their members had been captured so they suffered a temporary setback.

Luthor was fuming. He needed a plan. The Justice League just seemed to be getting stronger and stronger. If they didn't curb the balance of power, they would be doomed.

A buzzing sound was heard on his voice box.

"Hey Lex, there's someone here to see you," Atomic Skull said on the other line.

"Tell them I'm busy," Lex said before realizing he wasn't at the office. "What do you mean someone's here to see me? This is supposed to be a hideout!"

"I don't know how he got in here but he insists it's important…"

"Who's he?"

"Lexie old pal!" a high pitch voice was heard on the other line.

Luthor groaned. Why did the Joker always somehow find his hideouts?

"What are you doing here?" Luthor asked annoyed.

"Can't old friends catch up on each other? I heard you had a new place and decided to check it out."

Luthor rolled his eyes.

"Get out of here before I have my men kill you. I'm done with you."

"Wait Lexie, I have something you might like."

Luthor didn't want to hear what scheme the Joker had but at the same time his overall curiosity was overriding his judgment.

"You have five minutes. Let him in," Luthor snapped.

The Joker came into Luthor's room with the evil grin on his face.

"Now this is cozy!" Joker taunted. "I brought a housewarming gift!"

Luthor realized it was a Superman action figure.

"What do you want?" he asked making sure to assert his authority and his impatience.

"Well let's just say I have a business opportunity for you!"

Luthor began to laugh.

"The last time I made a deal with you, you almost ruined me. Why should I trust you this time?"

Joker looked insulted. "That really hurts you know Lexie! Haven't you forgotten that small gang we formed up. We almost had the Justice League!"

"Almost is not good enough…"

"Because you kept Batman alive!" the Joker interrupted grinning.

Luthor paused. He couldn't argue against that.

"Well anyways," the Joker mused. "I realized the two times we teamed up, there was a little teensy flaw in both plans."

"Which was?" Luthor asked disbeliving that it had nothing to do with the Joker's insanity.

The Joker's eyes started to glare with anger.

"Batman!" he yelled pulling out a knife and stabbing the desk. Luthor remained unphased by the sudden show of violence. The Joker continued to rant.

"That man in black has always ruined our plans!"

"So?"

"So this time I finally found his weakness! Think about it. Now that I found a way to destroy Batman, that leaves Supes and the Justice League up for grabs!"

Luthor laughed.

"Batman is not Superman. He has no kryptonite. You can easily kill him with one bullet."

"You know better than that. Batman is too smart to be slain by conventional means. Well I finally found something that can bring him to his knees."

"Which is?" Luthor asked even though his rational mind was telling him to not trust the Joker.

The Joker just smiled.

"A woman."

0000000

Mike looked around at the training room he and Lobo were in. Lobo was wearing sunglasses and a Hawaiian shirt instead of his usual leather jacket.

"Alright bud! The first thin' about dancin' is this: you're the Main Man! Ya got it?"

"What?"

"Ya control the pace, ya control yar dame, ya set the tone! Ya the man of the dance floor! It's yar dance floor!" Lobo encouraged.

"Okay…"

"Say it with me, yar the man!"

"I'm the man…"

"Louder!"

"I'm the man!"

Lobo grinned.

"Good, yar learnin' kid. Third rule about dancin'…"

"What was the second?"

"What?"

"You skipped the second rule. What is it?"

"It's don't argue with the instructor! Got it?"

Mike rolled his eyes.

"Got it."

"Alright, let's begin goin' over some dance moves…"

And with that, Lobo hit the boombox he had with him.

**Lordfrieza**

(Luthor Tech - Warehouse B - Hobbs Bay)

The other super-villains gave Joker a wide birth as he came through the halls. It was well known how insane the Clown Prince of Crime was, and most of the younger villains had heard Joker stories most of their careers. Finally Joker opened the door he was walking to and looked in at Lex as the amoral business man watched the monitor of his computer for a moment before clicking and going to another screen.

"I can promise you that you won't find anything in old home movies," Joker said with a chuckle.

"It's not home movies. I have... connections which have video feeds on other worlds. I thought perhaps it was possible that in one of these other worlds one of us have already beaten the Justice League," Luthor said.

"They all make the same mistake with the Bat," Joker said simply.

"Yes... none of them considered Batman a threat and in the end he saved the league. The only time the League has been beat was in one world where Darkseid, Brainac, and Mongol all three attacked at the same time, and each bringing a huge army. Still even in that world Batman seemed to plan enough ahead that he managed to save part of the league and sent them into a neighboring dimension to find help," Lex said. "Your plan with Wonder Woman seems to be the only thing that might stand a chance of getting him out of the way. Still it's not like we can just go after her," Lex said.

"Nope, but I know someone who can," Joker said with a smile.

"Who?" Lex asked.

"Lexie, I'm surprised at you! You don't know your history do you? Once upon a time there was an Amazon Queen, and this Queen beat a certain son of the gods. Instead of making him leave the island she decided to invite him to dinner. Of course after the meal, and some tranquilizers, this son of the gods, or a certain god to be specific, took all of the Amazons hostage," Joker said.

"You're talking about Heracles," Lex said.

"Ding, ding, ding, and the bald man wins a cupie doll!" Joker exclaimed.

"Great, where do we find him?" Lex asked, irritated.

"See, that's where I come in. I got to really into thinking about Wonderbabe and so I broke into the Gotham Museum of History. There was this book in there," Joker said as he lifted the old book from out of a purple gym bag he had been carrying. "And it tells that Heracles pissed off the Queen of the gods. Pissed her off so bad that she put him in a prison all by himself," Joker said.

**Theamerican**

"Alright take five!" Lobo called.

Mike was sweating. He had no idea dancing could be so strenuous. But then again he never saw dance moves that Lobo was showing before. He was pretty sure one wasn't supposed to do a stage dive after throwing their date over the shoulder.

Lobo had used drones for Mike to practice dancing with. Needless to say they were a hell of a lot heavier than Zatanna.

Suddenly the sound of clanking was heard. Lobo's eyes perked up.

"What is it?" Mike asked.

Lobo started muttering under his breath.

"Fraggin' bitch thinks she' all high and mighty, well I'll show her."

Ignoring the confused look on Mike's face Lobo turned the music back on, this time increasing the volume tenfold.

"Break's over!" Lobo shouted over the loud music.

"What?!" Mike asked.

00000

Artemis and Knight were practicing a new fencing technique created by Samurais in feudal Japan.

Needless to say they were both clearly sweating.

Suddenly the faint sound of heavy death metal was playing in the distance.

"I must say my lady, what is that dreadful sound?" Sir Justin asked, clearly appalled by the violence and language in the music.

Artemis glared.

"Ignore it," she said. She was not going to let Lobo get the best of her.

Sir Justin had taught her to calm down a little. Stay focus, don't let him get the satisfasction of angering you.

00000

Lobo in the room next door had increased the music to new volumes that Mike had to cove rhis ears.

"I don't get it!" Lobo cried angrily Artemis wasn;t coming voer to threaten to beat his ass.

"What?"

"What?"

"I can't hear you!"

"Shut up Geek! I can't hear the music!"

0000000

Booster Gold sighed as he walked back to his room from Monitor Duty. He hadn't done a good job there. He was distracted.

He loss, and loss big.

The problem was he let her win. Not on purpose but he couldn't help it. She was too good for him.

He sighed sadly as he entered his room.

He was surprised there was a note on a desk. It was written in very neat handwriting.

_Not many guys seem to have the guts to approach me like you did today. I feel like they are intimidated by smart women. Since I beat you so bad, I felt like I could at least buy you lunch._

Booster beamed as he read this note. Maybe things would start looking up after all.

0000000

"He's imprisoned under Thermyscara?"

"Yeah, kinda funny an island with no men has the manliest man of them all…"

"Are you insane?" Luthor asked. "There is no way we would be able to get on it!"

"Oh ye little faith Lexie, that's where you come in."

"What do you mean?"

The Joker hit a computer screen and brought up the video that had the infamous evidence of Batman's infatuation with Wonder Woman.

"See that tall angry woman who got in a fight with Gene Simmons in the video?"

"What's that got to do with anything?"

"She's an Amazon. And she is going to be the ace up the sleeve."

_TBC. That is all for now, more to come._


End file.
